Friday the 13th

Once again, MIA. Knowingly. The lack of posts hasn't been because of work or home or even lack of things to say but more because I've been trying to wrap my head around my intentions for 2012. I'd like to say that I don't do NY resolutions but I do... I just don't put too much stock into them. As usual, I've got things like eat better, run more, work harder but this year (I think) is all about the moment. I'm determined to live in the moment and just ENJOY.

I'm making an effort to let go of resentment and any sort of bitterness and just move forward. It's not like I'm some scowling hag but yes, I tend to hold grudges and that can affect all other things. What's the point? To be honest, it isn't taking much of an effort because I'm just doing it. I'm done with it. I want to enjoy the day-to-day thing I've got going on over here. I want to stop & think and remind myself that it won't always be this way and that M is only small for such a short time. I need to focus my energy on enjoying M & D (and our families & friends) more and worry less about the stuff -- getting things done, going places, etc.

Anyway... I guess the word for 2012 is enjoy.

What else is new?

Today is day 11 of a cleanse. Well, same cleanse I did about 6 months ago (Wild Rose 12-Day Detox) and technically, tomorrow is my last day. Sunday? Day 1 or 13... however you choose to look at it. I've decided to do another round back-to-back in the hopes of establishing clean eating habits and of course, a bit of weight loss. I'm sure I've lost about 5lbs (scale is broken but I'm okay with that right now) but I have more to go. I'm at the point in the cleanse where it's safe to add in some exercise without fear of exploding so tomorrow, I'm going to attempt the 30 Day Shred by Jillian Michaels. It came in the mail today and I promptly sat down tonight to watch the Level 1 workout to see what I was in for... with bowl of popcorn in hand. Sigh. Popcorn WITH butter is allowed on the Wild Rose! It's not like I was cheating.

It's cold outside and there's snow on the ground so I think my running is on hold until spring. I'm sure I've said this before but I'm not meant to be a winter runner. I get out maybe 3 times every winter and it just isn't for me. So, I'll attempt the Shred and come February, get back into going to the gym. Again, need to finish the cleanse.

And that's pretty much the end of my Friday night stream of consciousness. It's early but I'm heading to bed. I've got a 25 minute workout planned for the morning. Barf.

Cleanse: Day 12

And it's over... well, in some +/- 18 hours it will be over. Would I do it again? Absolutely. I've felt better than I have in a long time and I think this was a quick & relatively painless way to back back to healthy ways. I'm motivated to drink more water, eat better and in general, eat fresher.

I did the Wild Rose 12 Day Detox Cleanse. There are 4 different supplements you take while following a rather loose meal plan. The meal plan is comprised of 3 different categories of food, which are further broken down into encouraged, acceptable & to be avoided. It's easy to work with for grazing and incredibly easy to put actual meals together.

Laxaherb. Just warning you, one of the supplements is called Laxaherb. Interpret that as you see fit!

At the end of the 12 days, I lost 5.2lbs. I am down to 130lbs but more importantly, I feel awesome. The bloated feelings are gone and I feel less sluggish & tired. I'm sleeping better than I have in ages (which I still attribute to giving up caffeine) and I actually wake feeling rested & alert, a feeling typically hard to come by when the alarm goes off at 5:20am.

The cleanse is only supposed to be done once or twice a year. I will do it again in 6 months but I'm really hoping (and I feel quite motivated) to keep it up. I know there are some things I will need to add back into my diet but I will do so in moderation. I cannot live a life without cheese and I know it's not realistic to never eat carbs again. But, salad has appeared at every meal lately and that is a good thing. We're flying through apples each week and in general, just eating better.

Did I mention I'm down to 130lbs?!

Cleanse: Day 11

In 43 short minutes, I will officially be on day 12 and my last day of the cleanse. I will also be sleeping so really, it's not worth noting.

BUT... I will say that today was by far the hardest day yet. I had flashbacks to some nasty side effects from day 1 as well as insane cravings. I'm pretty sure I drooled all over my co-worker's delicious looking lunch from Chipotle and it took all my power to avoid eating any of the 3 dozen muffins I baked tonight. I managed to stay strong and fought through the urges! Sadly, a big glass of water doesn't really satiate cravings.

Last night was the first time in weeks that I ventured into a grocery store. We've made an effort the last few weekends to hit the St. Lawrence Market on a Saturday morning to pick up our meat, fruit & veggies for the week. I've got enough pantry stock going that I haven't needed to shop at a grocery store. However, I had to go last night to pick up a number of items needed for my office breakfast tomorrow and I realized just how much I am impacted by grocery store marketing & promotions. It's like any possible craving I may have ever had in the past immediately surfaces and I have insane 'have to have NOW' feelings. I walked down the snack aisle and stared longingly at chips, licorice & sours. I had to force myself to keep going. Things I never buy like crackers suddenly looked damn tasty. I'm lucky that I didn't buy anything I didn't need but speaking from experience, the ONLY reason is because I'm on the cleanse. As I left the store, I realized how much more I enjoy shopping at the Market. Besides, I love spending those mornings with D & M wandering around the Market.

Big day tomorrow! Final weigh-in and then it's time to come up with a plan to stick with it.

Cleanse: Day 9

So exhausted. First day back after 3 lazy days off was too much for my system! Heading to bed but checking in for a quick update.

Despite being so close to talking myself out of it, I talked myself into a quick 5km run. Totally worth it and my legs have that lovely & good sleepy feeling now. So, 10km for the week already!

Still going strong on the cleanse. I ate a huge dinner of field green salad with avocado in a simple dressing of olive oil, lemon, salt & pepper with a chicken breast stuffed with basil, spinach & roasted red peppers. Seriously, who knew you could eat so well on a cleanse?

And It's Over...

The 3-day weekend is over and it's back to reality tomorrow. Actually, back to reality tonight because minimal workday morning craziness is all down to evening preparation. This is the first May long weekend in years that we've spent at home but it was worth it.

First, I survived days 6, 7 & 8 on the cleanse. I made a quinoa salad this afternoon and the feta called to me but I successfully fought the urge. I did a teeny tiny cheat on Saturday when my salad at the restaurant came with a delicious maple-vidalia vinaigrette and I didn't balk but rather inhaled. I also ate my weight in roasted unsalted almonds but those are allowed! I can safely say that I am loving this cleanse now. I feel amazing and it's so worth it. I'm used to the little side effects (more on that as well as the name when it's over) and the day-to-day is simple.

Second, I ran! The lousy weather & the cleanse (due to said side effect) meant I've been sitting idle for about 10 days but I forced myself out this afternoon for a 5km loop. Dropping a lb here or there is great but at the end of the day, I actually have to do something to lose the pudge. And really, I can hardly use the "I just had a baby" excuse anymore when my 2+ year old is standing beside me.

Third, I tackled my 'to do' list and got a lot accomplished:

• Trip to the St. Lawrence Market to pick up meat, fruit & veggies for the week. Done!
• Weed front garden. Done!
• Sweep & tidy the front porch. Done!
• Finish tidying the backyard & gardens and get the patio furniture set up. Done!
• Make a trip to Value Village to drop off clothes & household items no longer needed. Done!
• Finalize the pattern of the photos of M in our upstairs hallway. Done!
• Continue working on purging/tidying the spare bedroom (read: dumping ground). It isn't complete but I made definite progress. Deadline is our trip to NYC in late June.
• Hang the Gary Taxali print ANYWHERE just to get it off our bedroom floor. Didn't happen.
• Bake a batch of muffins and do a bit of advance preparation for next week. Done!
• Finalize my menu for Friday breakfast at work. Done!

All in all, it was a great & productive weekend. We spent so much time outdoors with lots of trips to the park & playing out in the backyard. We visited with the grandparents and had D's dad over for dinner last night. We wandered the nursery today and picked up a new hydrangea plant (to replace sad & dead rhododendron lost by my black thumb) and a few other garden essentials. Tomorrow's dinner is already prepared and lunches are packed.

Life is good.

Cleanse: Day 5

I really wish I hadn't discovered that popcorn AND butter are both allowed on this cleanse. Big mistake. Regardless, I stuck to it and am feeling great. My skin is breaking out so I'm wondering if that's all the icky stuff making it's way to the surface.

Long weekend! Thank God. Lots of things I want to accomplish this weekend so I'm hoping to post a list to stay accountable... tomorrow.

Cleanse: Day 4

I felt like a bag of hammers all day long but I think it was more emotional than physical. Meh. Nothing new happening. Not sure if that's good or bad?

Also, you have to love a cleanse that allows you to eat popcorn with butter!

I would gnaw my left arm off if it meant I could have a burrito right now. Mmm... guacamole & cheese.

PS - Such a fitting "me" post for my 200th.

Cleanse: Day 3

I have a sore throat. According to my source (who just completed this cleanse), it's totally normal. By normal, it happened to her. Not too sure what exactly that or it means but I'm hoping it'll be gone tomorrow.

Also, not sure if it's in my head but I really do feel like I've got a bit more energy. I'm less bloated, too. Good signs? I'm definitely staying well hydrated and I'm hoping my skin will clear up a bit. I think the last few months of indulgence have taken their toll.

The weather has been miserable lately. We're on day 7 of rain and I think we've got another 2 days before we see a bit of sun. Of course, we'll get one sunny day and we're back to rain. That said, I haven't been for a true run since last Wednesday. I'm okay with it because I wanted to get into my groove with this cleanse as there are some less than wonderful side effects but I'm hoping to get out on Saturday.

Cleanse: Day 2

Again, not horrible. I had to suffer through mad temptations for pastries at meeting first thing but I resisted their call. I perhaps drooled just a little when serving a delicious homemade pasta back to the boys tonight but again, I resisted.

I should add that I'm by no means starving myself. I filled my belly with lots of fresh fruit & veggies throughout the day. Lunch was true oatmeal with a bit of rice milk and dinner was fried brown rice (just a bit of olive oil and no soy sauce) with chicken, celery & orange pepper.

The kicker? Herbal supplements. I'll save those details for later.

It'll be worth it, right?

Cleanse: Day 1

It wasn't horrible. I was expecting a long, drawn out & painful day but it really wasn't. I ate well and am going to bed comfortably full. There was maybe one or two fleeting moments of regret but I will admit that it's nice knowing that every.single.thing that went into my mouth today was pure & good.

One Week Later...

I'm holding steady at 135.2lbs. Ugh. I really don't get it BUT I'll push on and give it time (and diet & exercise). My goal is 130lbs by June 23rd, which is when we leave for NYC.

Desperate times call for desperate measures...

I'm starting a 12-day detox today in the hopes of feeling better. Since cutting out caffeine last week, I think I'm actually beginning to feel the benefits. I'm no longer dragging throughout the day, sleeping better at night and actually waking feeling refreshed. This detox is an extension of that and involves lots of fresh foods (no limits) and should give me freedom while doing something good for myself.

Updates to follow! I've heard the first few days are really difficult but I'm hoping it's worth it.