2 and a Half

We met with our SLP last Friday for a reassessment of M's speech & language to date. After almost two hours of interactive play, learning games and some subtle note taking for good measure, she looked at me with a HUGE smile on her face and said she was thrilled to tell me that M no longer even qualifies for speech therapy! She was so happy with his progress and noted that he was surpassing most of the language milestones for the 36-42 month range (M is currently 30 months).

We are so pleased with our little guy! Patience, modeling and working together constantly has paid off. Yes, I became that mum that I always vowed I wouldn't be... you know, the one saying "grEEn PePPer" at the grocery store while pointing to my mouth and repeating said word over and over. The Hanen course I was invited to participate in turned out to be invaluable because we finally figured out how M needed to learn from us. He chats constantly and we are finally having those "for the love of God, be quiet!" moments that people warned us about. It's worth it though. So so so worth it.

She wants to reassess M again in 6 months to make sure he's still progressing. She took note of some pronunciations that are typically developmental (th as d, etc.) and wants to make sure he outgrows them. If he needs therapy again, we're on their radar and will never have an issue being seen again. Phew.

The best thing about M's speech therapy is that it was almost like a parenting book all wrapped up in a fun little package. We learned so many obvious things that we'd been skipping over in our attempts to get him to communicate more and ended up learning that those same things that taught M sounds and words would also diffuse tantrums, distract from tears and get him to WANT to chat with us more.

Best ever.

An Update on the Patient

A couple weeks back, I wrote about M's surgery to have his tonsils & adenoids removed. His recovery was quick & he was back at it within 48 hours of the surgery. We had to keep him home for almost 2 weeks to prevent infection but he went back to school this week.

We've noticed significant changes already. First, he no longer snores. He was a total bear before the surgery and he's SO quiet when he sleeps that I find myself checking him constantly to make sure he's okay. Second, he's having better sleeps. We've been lucky to have a kid who likes his sleep and always gives it the ol' college try but we can definitely tell that he's waking more refreshed and having better naps. Lastly, his speech is improving! We're thankful that his nasally pipsqueak voice is s-l-o-w-l-y disappearing (a side effect from the surgery) but he speaks with a much more clear voice now. We can understand him better and his parrot ways are nonstop.

Oddly enough, this post coincides with a letter we received from the SLP. We'll be getting a call shortly to schedule a reassessment and I know they're going to be thrilled. Yay! We are so excited for M.

We Have a Combiner on Our Hands!

M had a follow up assessment at the speech therapy clinic this morning and they were so pleased!

At our SLPs urging, we've skipped the current block of therapy that is one-on-one (well, two) between therapist & child/parent for a specialized course built by The Hanen Centre for parents only. It's based on a well known book called It Takes Two to Talk and the course basically breaks it down in detail and provides parents with the insight & skills to work with their toddler. On the one hand, it's been informative and very comforting to know there are lots of other slow-to-speak kids out there. On the other hand, it's pretty much been a repeat of what we learned (just without knowing or labeling it) during our one-on-one sessions.

Who cares!? It's working! M is a combiner!

There are four basic stages of early communication & language:

• Discovers - Reactionary but do not communicate with purpose.
• Communicators - Nonverbal in nature.
• First Word Users - Single word use.
• Combiners - Combine 2-3 words into sentences.

M is actually past the combiner stage because he will use 4-5 words in a sentence. The SLP was happy to note that he uses I and I'm and only uses "me" to refer to himself the odd time. She noticed how he was so much more engaged during play and looked for opportunities to chat, take turns and in general, communicate. Yay!

A lot of people have asked if I felt we started this process too early with M. I'm sure they wonder if we jumped the gun and went through all of this when it may not have been necessary. Truth be told, we'll never really know but I am so glad we listened to our doctor at his 1 year appointment when she said to get him on the waiting list. She saw that he wasn't talking or babbling at all and we were beginning to catch on to it, too. It was the one milestone he consistently wasn't hitting. We were lucky to start seeing an SLP when M was 18 months and at that time, he was a communicator. He's made a tonne of progress over the last 6 months and I'm positive it's because of all the great tips & tricks we received.

I'm so proud of my little guy! His vocabulary is growing and he wants to repeat. He actually wants to look at and talk to us! He's like this tiny little person attempting to have an intelligent conversation. It's amazing! Go M go!

If this was Facebook...

My status would read "Jenn is having a lot of trouble understanding and coping with M's language delay issues."

I feel completely sad, overwhelmed and defeated. I don't even want to talk about it because all I can do is crack jokes and make it seem like I'm okay with it but really, I'm not. I'm frustrated because I feel like all the extra effort we're putting in isn't exactly paying off. I feel gipped that we aren't getting this part of toddlerhood and we have to work for it. I feel like nobody believes me when I say he has said certain words (banana and book, for example) but that he just won't say them again. I just want to squeeze him with so much love that words fly out of his mouth!

We have been working with an speech/language pathologist (SLP) for over a month now and while he is making some progress, it isn't happening how I'd like it to happen. You know, NOW. Much of what we're taught is common sense and I think M notices that we're engaging him in different ways. He looks to us & at us and is making more attempts to communicate verbally but he is not where he should be.

On Thursday, I asked the SLP if there was a chance M could have a tongue tie. Save for language, he is meeting or exceeding his milestones and we've never had any eating, drinking or teething issues. She explained the rarity of this and said it was unlikely M had this problem. I tried to argue that because I never breastfed, maybe it just hadn't been discovered. Nope, no bite. I broke down and told her that I need an answer or reason why this happening. I want it to be something that is an easy fix. I can't stop my brain from fast forwarding years down the road and creating all sorts of scenarios in my head. I hate to admit it but I don't want him to be that kid who needs extra help in class.

I felt so down all day on Thursday. I know we are so so so lucky to have such a perfect & healthy kid but I can't help but let this bother me. I want everything to be easy for him and it hurts me to see him struggling. Later that day, the SLP coordinator phoned to make sure I was okay as our SLP had let her know about my concerns (read: melodramatic mother exhibiting Munchausen syndrome) and we had one of the best chats I've had in a long time. I cried but she spoke over my sobs and made me agree that there is nothing we did or didn't do to have this happen. M is M is M and he was destined to have this problem. She reaffirmed that M will talk but that things are on his own time. She understood my concerns as both an SLP and a fellow mother.

I have to trust in the professionals and follow their program. They are going to speak with the teachers at M's daycare to ensure we're all following the same program. The SLP coordinator is going to sit in on M's next session to check progress and fingers crossed she'll see it.

So, we push forward with M. We speak clearly, verbalize EVERYTHING and ensure M is looking at us whenever we talk. We engage him, distract him and play with him at his level. Most of all, we love him. We will get there.

Good News!

I may be less fat than originally thought! I weighed M using our scale a few weeks ago and found him to be around 29.5lbs. At the doctor's office today, he weighed in at 27lbs. Does that mean I'm actually 2.5lbs lighter than my scale is telling me?!

I've done nothing since my run last Monday. I did two good runs in a row and then the insane heat & humidity hit, which basically landed me on the couch. I might get out tonight but M had his 15 month shots today and I don't like leaving him in case of a reaction. It's really not an excuse! I swear!

Back to M... He's a good weight at 27lbs and likely still a bit behind from when he lost a few lbs back in April when he had rotavirus. He just got over a case of hand/foot/mouth and I'm pretty sure the open sores in his mouth didn't encourage good eating. He's standing super tall at 34" and is generally hitting all of his milestones though he's a bit behind on his verbal skills. No need to panic yet because he is becoming more verbal and we're actively working on it.

Vaccinations aside, it was a doctor's visit filled with good news for both of us!

Babble.

I've been keeping a secret. Some people knew about it and I'm sure some people certainly noticed but for the most part, I've held this one close to my heart and kept it quiet.

No, not pregnant. Promise!

A few months back, our doctor asked if M was babbling and making lots of sounds at his 9 month appointment. I said yes because he was... right? Well, no. What I thought was babble was really just variations of the same sound. It really wasn't until I spent more time with other babies and heard the repetitive babble & sounds they were making that I wondered why M wasn't doing the same. He was hitting all other milestones so I wasn't too worried and I put it down to a few things. Perhaps we'd been too conversational with him? Not enough flashcard or book time? He was putting all his energy into crawling and standing and basically, moving? He'd always been a quiet kid, the type who stares intently and slowly smiles but never laughs & waves at strangers. He loved being around people but was always happy to play independently.

Fast forward to his 12 month appointment a few weeks back and I had to admit to our doctor that M still hadn't said a word and was only making the same variation of a "ha" sound. He knows what we're talking about and follows instructions but it doesn't matter what you say or how often you repeat it, he'll only answer back with a "ha" or an "enh" noise. She suggested we call to get on the 6-8 month waiting list for a speech pathologist to help us pinpoint the problem. I finally called last night after M's follow-up doctor's visit for his vaccinations and got us on the list. The woman on the other end of the phone suggested we arrange a hearing test for M to make sure his hearing is up to snuff. He's clearly hearing us but maybe not as good as he could be.

I emailed my boss whose wife is an audiologist and she called me immediately. She calmed my fears and without looking at him, she is certain he doesn't have hearing issues based on our chat. That said, she is going to take a look at him next week and make sure he doesn't have any issues like fluid in the ears or hearing loss.

When I came home from my appointment, D was walking M by the hands back and forth through the house. As he came towards me, I heard the most wonderful sound ever!

"Umma, umma, mama!"

Honestly, that was the FIRST time he'd ever made a noise other than the "ha" sound and later that night, he was babbling nonstop. Those were the best sounds I've ever heard. He was trying out his vowels & consonants all night and all morning! I am so happy.

It's been hard to keep this to myself because I've wanted to share and ask for advice but so often, there can be this "he's not WHAT?!" or "my child was doing that at X age!!!" which prevented me from saying anything. I was worried people, even friends, would think there was something wrong or inferior with M and even think that D & I hadn't done enough with him. I know parenting isn't a competition but sometimes it's really hard not to compare your child to others. Last night reminded me of that old adage that slow & steady wins the race and once again, to never pass judgment on another mother or child. You never know what's happening behind closed doors.