Cleanse: Day 3

I have a sore throat. According to my source (who just completed this cleanse), it's totally normal. By normal, it happened to her. Not too sure what exactly that or it means but I'm hoping it'll be gone tomorrow.

Also, not sure if it's in my head but I really do feel like I've got a bit more energy. I'm less bloated, too. Good signs? I'm definitely staying well hydrated and I'm hoping my skin will clear up a bit. I think the last few months of indulgence have taken their toll.

The weather has been miserable lately. We're on day 7 of rain and I think we've got another 2 days before we see a bit of sun. Of course, we'll get one sunny day and we're back to rain. That said, I haven't been for a true run since last Wednesday. I'm okay with it because I wanted to get into my groove with this cleanse as there are some less than wonderful side effects but I'm hoping to get out on Saturday.

Cleanse: Day 2

Again, not horrible. I had to suffer through mad temptations for pastries at meeting first thing but I resisted their call. I perhaps drooled just a little when serving a delicious homemade pasta back to the boys tonight but again, I resisted.

I should add that I'm by no means starving myself. I filled my belly with lots of fresh fruit & veggies throughout the day. Lunch was true oatmeal with a bit of rice milk and dinner was fried brown rice (just a bit of olive oil and no soy sauce) with chicken, celery & orange pepper.

The kicker? Herbal supplements. I'll save those details for later.

It'll be worth it, right?

Cleanse: Day 1

It wasn't horrible. I was expecting a long, drawn out & painful day but it really wasn't. I ate well and am going to bed comfortably full. There was maybe one or two fleeting moments of regret but I will admit that it's nice knowing that every.single.thing that went into my mouth today was pure & good.

One Week Later...

I'm holding steady at 135.2lbs. Ugh. I really don't get it BUT I'll push on and give it time (and diet & exercise). My goal is 130lbs by June 23rd, which is when we leave for NYC.

Desperate times call for desperate measures...

I'm starting a 12-day detox today in the hopes of feeling better. Since cutting out caffeine last week, I think I'm actually beginning to feel the benefits. I'm no longer dragging throughout the day, sleeping better at night and actually waking feeling refreshed. This detox is an extension of that and involves lots of fresh foods (no limits) and should give me freedom while doing something good for myself.

Updates to follow! I've heard the first few days are really difficult but I'm hoping it's worth it.

Rosie

I held a newborn baby this morning. I held her while she slept, fed her when she woke, burped her and stared at her. When it was time to go, I passed sweet little Rosie back to her mama. And know what? I was okay with it.

I love babies. I mean, who doesn't? New smell, tiny features, quiet cooing noises. I'd wondered if holding Rosie would stir up anything inside me. You know, that "must have another" feeling. It didn't. I loved every second of it and would do it again in a heartbeat but for now, I am okay with holding other people's babies.

Sometimes I think D & I are only meant to have M. I know that I feel like our family is complete and there isn't a missing little someone. I really don't want M to be an only child and often have moments when I *think* I know he needs a sibling. Firstly, D is an only child so no cousins on that side of the family. Secondly, my brother & his wife are childless so no cousins there. At some point, everything will stop at him. I hate to think of him being alone with no family years down the road. It makes me sad to think of him dealing with life after us all by himself. Yes, I can be melodramatic at times.

One of the best things I ever did after having M was to return to work. I love M with all my heart but as I have said before, I am a better parent because I am a working parent. It is what works for me. I also know that returning to work has stirred up those waiting feelings in me because I am so lucky to love what I do, who I work with and where my career is going.

I also know that I'm getting older and at some point, we'll have to make a decision on whether or not we want to try to expand. Right now, I am admittedly at that age where I can sit for another few years. I'm not in my twenties and I'm still a ways off from 40 but I'm there.

For now, I will savour the fun days with my toddler and nights filled with sleep. I'll enjoy my friend's babies and love reliving milestones through them. I will listen, share & talk and know that I am lucky to have my one and if that's all we are blessed with, it's okay. I am okay with it.

7.5km!

Add another 7.5km to this week's running total and I'm up to 18.5km already. I won't be running tomorrow night but definitely on Friday. Ideally, I'd like to do a minimum 10km run one day each weekend and gradually increase the distance over time.

Yay!

Wordless Wednesday

This sweet little face greets me each morning. Love.