Normal. Almost.

We're still here & we're still sad but we're moving ahead because that's what we have to do.  M still asks for Cear and talks about her like she's just in another room and it pretty much breaks my heart in half every.single.time.  The neighbours have noticed our absence from the sidewalks & parks and it's hard to tell them what happened.  We'll sing her praises forever and fondly remember her antics & nutty personality.  We're adapting to our new normal.

What else?

I'm cleansing.  Again.  Today is day 7 and I feel good.  I was bored out of my tree today and thought constantly about food & wine.  What does that say about me?

I got out last week for a couple short runs and it felt good.  My goal is 3x a week and all around the 5km mark.  Now to push myself to do it.  On that note, I had best intentions to get out this weekend and I didn't.  Lazy.

We finally started our Christmas shopping and in my eyes, M is done.  Ask D and you might get a different answer.  We don't have many to buy for but sometimes that is even harder.  It's like you really have to dig to get the perfect gift.  Hopefully we can knock a few more names off the list in the coming weeks.  I'd love to see half our list done before I go to NYC.  Obviously, it's because I want to free more funds for me & my shopping urges.

I've started planning our annual NYE party and I'm excited!  We've decided to go with an Italian theme so D & I are brainstorming a delicious menu.  

That's it, I think?  Yep, not much new to report over here.  Just checking in really...

5 Days

And I can't stop looking for her.  I keep looking at all her spots to see if she's there... under the coffee table, in the bedroom, behind the dining room table, in the kitchen under foot...  it just doesn't seem real that she's gone.

I cancelled the cleaning ladies yesterday because I wasn't ready for all traces of Cear to be gone.  I don't want to sweep up the furry tumbleweeds and I don't want to take a lint brush to the couch.  I didn't want to put away her food bowls or beds but I finally did today.  That corner of our kitchen & bedroom will never look the same.

I miss her so much.

100lbs

It is with an extremely heavy heart that I have to say that my sweet Cear passed over the Rainbow Bridge today.  I am shocked, devastated and just plain heartbroken.  I honestly think my heart weights 100lbs right now.

To Cear...

You were my best, my favourite and my sweet...  we spent 13 years together and you were by my side for everything -- university, jobs, marriage, divorce, baby, marriage, life...  I cannot believe you're gone.  My heart is certainly empty and our house feels the same.  I will love and miss you forever.

Godspeed sweet Cear...  xo.

Life as of Late

Busy.  Life is busy.  Work is busy.  M is BUSY.  We're just plain busy over here.  The weekdays fly by in 11-12 hour cycles and then it's all about dinner, bath & bedtime before trying to decompress before going to bed and starting all over again.  Weekends are for catching up, running errands and impromptu play dates & dinners with friends (like today/tonight).

What else?

Cear.  Sweet ol' Cear.  I won't go into all the details & drama but suffice to say, she is very sick.  We're enjoying her and loving on her constantly and riding out her time in the best way we can.

School for M.  We're at a loss of what to do and exploring lots of options.  The gist is that his potential public school just isn't a goodie and we're toying with the idea of private school, moving to a better school district or just sucking it up and sending him there.  There are perks to moving because our list of non-negotiable wants has changed in the 3 plus years we've been here (parking!!!) BUT we love our house & the area.

NYC!  Yes!  I am heading to the big city with two best girlfriends for a whirlwind weekend on December 7th.  I'm so excited!  Food, drink, walking & wandering and above all, finally seeing the tree in Rockefeller Centre!

I haven't run in ages and I continue to eat like shit.  It's awesome!  Um, no.  My plan is to pick up some new winter running gear this week and force myself out there.  Will be interesting to see if I make it happen.