Normal. Almost.

We're still here & we're still sad but we're moving ahead because that's what we have to do.  M still asks for Cear and talks about her like she's just in another room and it pretty much breaks my heart in half every.single.time.  The neighbours have noticed our absence from the sidewalks & parks and it's hard to tell them what happened.  We'll sing her praises forever and fondly remember her antics & nutty personality.  We're adapting to our new normal.

What else?

I'm cleansing.  Again.  Today is day 7 and I feel good.  I was bored out of my tree today and thought constantly about food & wine.  What does that say about me?

I got out last week for a couple short runs and it felt good.  My goal is 3x a week and all around the 5km mark.  Now to push myself to do it.  On that note, I had best intentions to get out this weekend and I didn't.  Lazy.

We finally started our Christmas shopping and in my eyes, M is done.  Ask D and you might get a different answer.  We don't have many to buy for but sometimes that is even harder.  It's like you really have to dig to get the perfect gift.  Hopefully we can knock a few more names off the list in the coming weeks.  I'd love to see half our list done before I go to NYC.  Obviously, it's because I want to free more funds for me & my shopping urges.

I've started planning our annual NYE party and I'm excited!  We've decided to go with an Italian theme so D & I are brainstorming a delicious menu.  

That's it, I think?  Yep, not much new to report over here.  Just checking in really...

5 Days

And I can't stop looking for her.  I keep looking at all her spots to see if she's there... under the coffee table, in the bedroom, behind the dining room table, in the kitchen under foot...  it just doesn't seem real that she's gone.

I cancelled the cleaning ladies yesterday because I wasn't ready for all traces of Cear to be gone.  I don't want to sweep up the furry tumbleweeds and I don't want to take a lint brush to the couch.  I didn't want to put away her food bowls or beds but I finally did today.  That corner of our kitchen & bedroom will never look the same.

I miss her so much.

100lbs

It is with an extremely heavy heart that I have to say that my sweet Cear passed over the Rainbow Bridge today.  I am shocked, devastated and just plain heartbroken.  I honestly think my heart weights 100lbs right now.

To Cear...

You were my best, my favourite and my sweet...  we spent 13 years together and you were by my side for everything -- university, jobs, marriage, divorce, baby, marriage, life...  I cannot believe you're gone.  My heart is certainly empty and our house feels the same.  I will love and miss you forever.

Godspeed sweet Cear...  xo.

Life as of Late

Busy.  Life is busy.  Work is busy.  M is BUSY.  We're just plain busy over here.  The weekdays fly by in 11-12 hour cycles and then it's all about dinner, bath & bedtime before trying to decompress before going to bed and starting all over again.  Weekends are for catching up, running errands and impromptu play dates & dinners with friends (like today/tonight).

What else?

Cear.  Sweet ol' Cear.  I won't go into all the details & drama but suffice to say, she is very sick.  We're enjoying her and loving on her constantly and riding out her time in the best way we can.

School for M.  We're at a loss of what to do and exploring lots of options.  The gist is that his potential public school just isn't a goodie and we're toying with the idea of private school, moving to a better school district or just sucking it up and sending him there.  There are perks to moving because our list of non-negotiable wants has changed in the 3 plus years we've been here (parking!!!) BUT we love our house & the area.

NYC!  Yes!  I am heading to the big city with two best girlfriends for a whirlwind weekend on December 7th.  I'm so excited!  Food, drink, walking & wandering and above all, finally seeing the tree in Rockefeller Centre!

I haven't run in ages and I continue to eat like shit.  It's awesome!  Um, no.  My plan is to pick up some new winter running gear this week and force myself out there.  Will be interesting to see if I make it happen.

So.

So.  I should have been running in the half-marathon today but I didn't.  I quit.  I gave up.  I pushed myself too hard too early and basically made my body & my mind lose interest.  I'm disappointed with myself but not much I can do now, right?  I haven't run in weeks and I just need to force myself back out there.

Visitors

When we moved into our house, it was the first house I'd ever owned.  I was 37 weeks pregnant and the only thing on my mind was getting settled as quickly as possible before M joined our family.  My mum came on the first day with the rest of our family to help clean & set up the house from top to bottom and quickly stocked our freezer with muffins, breads and various baked goods like butter tarts, cheesecake brownies, etc.  Her advice?  ALWAYS have something in the freezer in case someone unexpectedly stops by to visit because that's what happens when you own a home.

Fast forward to the present day and I think we're at a tally of three (3!!!) visits from my BFF where I have had absolutely nothing in the freezer to offer as a snack.  Um yeah.  Being the best BFF ever, she must know this and ALWAYS brings muffins or cookies in her purse.  She showed up today with a stash of muffins for the little ones to snack on while playing.  Meanwhile, I could only drum up a pear & two apples to offer as snacks.

Definitely not the hostess with the mostess when it comes to daytime visiting.

M & I just grocery stopped & stocked up on a lot of pantry essentials.  D is away this weekend and it's miserably wet outside so I think M & I will take advantage and try to make some freezer meals & do some baking.  Yes...  baking!  I've got my mind set on making banana bread and maybe a batch of carrot pineapple bran muffins.

You know...  in case I have a visitor or two.

Back to School

My kid is barely past 3 and doesn't officially start school for another year.  He just graduated to Senior Preschool and in his eyes, it's the shit because he's in the bigger classroom and back with a few of his older friends...  you know, January babies and such.  Meanwhile, I'm completely freaking out about where the F we are are going to send him to school next year.

Seriously.

This is the stuff that is clouding my mind and keeping me up at night.  I can't stop obsessing about it and now D & I are coming up with ridiculous schemes to get us into areas with better schools.  Moving, private school, Catholic (um...  neither of us are practicing and heck, I'm not even Catholic but if it's a better school...) and using a friend's address are just many of the insane ideas filling our heads.

Why on earth are we such over-achievers when it comes to our 3 year old's future schooling?!  At the end of the day, I want him to learn in a welcoming environment under the tutelage of a teacher like my BFF (unfortunately, we can't get him into her awesome school) and I just want him to have friends and be a nice little boy.  Sigh.

Am I really going to obsess about this for the next year?

What to do, what to do... sigh.

On the training front, I ran 6km last Thursday and have basically done very little since.  After my 15km on Monday followed by my big spill on Wednesday, my knee & ankle needed some rest.  So, rest I did and I basically haven't gone back out there despite intentions to run 5 short runs in a row this week.  I need to scale back on the long SRs because I'm simply over doing it.

Yes, I realize it sounds like an excuse.  I isn't.  I hope it isn't.  My body just isn't responding as well as I'd like and believe me, it pisses me off.  Why the F did I let myself get SO out of shape after the last season ended?!  Stupid.

But I'm in a bit of a pickle now...  remember when I went on and on about walking in the Weekend to End Women's Cancers?  And then when I said I had chosen the half-marathon over the walk?  Well, I don't know what to do.  My gut (and my guilt) is telling me to WALK.  What's more important?  Personal best (not that the race would be but you know what I mean) or bonding, inspiration & just good ol' giving.  A big part of me thinks that I just won't be ready in time for the run and that's really okay.  I can run another race in the spring or I can get out there and do what I can.  So maybe I'm trying to talk myself into doing the walk knowing it may really screw my body for what I've been working towards as of late?  Sigh.  I really don't know what to do.  I want to walk because I want to be a part of that movement and it is so important for me to walk because my MIL doesn't have that chance.  I never want M to go through what D did when his mom passed away.  I want to run to prove to myself that I can do it again and that I can achieve that goal.  I want M to be proud of me for committing and being active.

I have no idea what to do.

Wednesday

So I followed up last week's 12km run with a chiro appointment & lazy 4km the next night before promptly taking 4 days off.  FAIL.  I got back out on Monday evening and pushed myself to run 15km!  It was HARD.  Really hard.  So hard that when the girl on my iPod announced that I had 4km to go, I screamed 'fuck off' to no one in particular at the intersection of Leslie & Lakeshore.

I've been really feeling it in my body since that run.  My left ankle feels a bit like it's got some bone-on-bone action and my right knee aches.  I feel old & out of shape.  Anyway, it is what it is and I just need to keep training.  I've got 6 more weeks to go and in those 6 weeks, I need to add 6 more kilometres to my longest route to date.

I met up with a friend tonight and did a 5km loop.  It was so nice to run with someone but definitely challenging to keep up a conversation while running.  Just something I'm not used to but something I'd like to practice.

Tomorrow's schedule calls for 5km and I'm hoping to get out at lunch to do it.  I need to spend some solid time at home in the evening tomorrow to get a few things accomplished.

Week 3?

I think I'm into my 3rd week of training and I like to think that I'm absolutely killing it.  Yay ME!

I did my 4km on Saturday afternoon and had plans to meet my BFF to do our big 12km run on Sunday.  Plans fell through and a couple glasses of wine followed the pizza into my mouth and I didn't get out.  Monday was a big FAIL that involved ketchup chips but I'm over it and not talking about it anymore.  Tuesday?  I got out for a 12km SR and rocked it!  I felt awesome the entire way through...  well, after my first 2-3km loosening up thing and then I felt awesome.  Followed it up with a quick 4km loop tonight.

Last night was the first night where I finished my run and immediately knew that I could do it.  I will be ready to run the half-marathon on that Sunday in October.  I'm totally pumped!

Many Reasons...

But no good excuses.  I just couldn't do the 10km this morning.  My head & body weren't into it and I felt like a bag of hammers the entire time so I cut it short at 5km.  I'm really disappointed in myself that I just couldn't push through it.

We're away for the weekend but back Monday afternoon.  I'm hoping to do my long run on Monday evening to make up for this one.

Week One Done

I'm pretty sure I kicked ass in the eating & running department this week.  Yay!

Training this week was as follows:

Sunday:  7km (I decided against the 10km to avoid potential injury)
Tuesday:  4km
Wednesday:  2.5km
Thursday:  5km
Friday:  3km (Skipped today's rest day and ran Saturday's run because we're away for the weekend)
Saturday:  10km (not yet run...  obviously...  but I've got it scheduled for the early morning)

Since Sunday, I've run a grand total of 21.5km.  I'm still working hard to find my groove and it takes a good 2km before my legs feel loose enough to maintain a good pace.  I'm still slow in the pace department but I'm trying to remind myself that "slow and steady wins the race" and that the important part is that I'm out there pounding the pavement.

I've got a long way to go but like my BFF said, I am COMMITTED.  I really want this right now.

77 Days

At the suggestion of my BFF, I've committed to the Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront (Half) Marathon on October 14th.  If I tell people, I'll feel accountable (or so I'm told).

So, I have 77 days to train my body and mind that I can once again run 21.1kms.  My running efforts this season have been lacking but now I have no choice.  I'm committed.  I'm gonna do it.

Unfortunately, this likely means that I won't be walking in the Weekend to End Women's Cancers this September.  I was training for this same half marathon last year but the walk absolutely destroyed my hips & feet and I just couldn't recover in time.  I knew that if I did it, I'd likely do permanent damage.

I'll be heading out tomorrow for a 10km run.  I hope I make it.

Before M, there was C...

Long before M (surprisingly...  or perhaps shockingly?) came into the picture, there was sweet ol' Cear.  This girl owns my heart and as we near her 13th birthday and reel from a bit of a scare, I think it's only worthy that she get some special recognition.

I've only ever known 3 dogs in my life and really, I don't remember much of the first as she passed away when I was 3 or 4.  When I was in grade 1, we adopted a little Shih Tzu who became Missy.  Not going to lie or wax poetic because we were all pretty certain that she did not love me as much as I loved her.  She was admittedly my brother's dog.  We had to make the big decision for her during the summer before my 3rd year of university and we were all devastated.

One year later, Cear came into my life.  I was going into my last year of university and didn't appreciate how much that 12lb ball of fluff would change my life.  12lbs became 75lbs and university in Guelph became a job and later a career in Toronto.  She sat beside me during break ups & hook ups, friendships and relationships, a divorce, a new forever, a pregnancy and she has now endured the love of a little human brother.

I used to always vow that if and when I had a child, he or she would NEVER grow up without a pet.  Now that I've been through it from the parent side of things, I know this is absolutely a non-negotiable for me.  While M has pestered her and often ignores her, he is smitten and in love with his "sister" as he affectionately calls her.

About 5 weeks ago, Cear ate half of one of my shirts.  ATE.  This isn't uncommon and she typically throws the item up or passes it within 2 weeks.  After a number of various mini events, I took Cear back to the vet for an x-ray and we made the decision to do exploratory surgery today.  They removed the tee and some plastic that may or may not have been Tupperware.  She's recovering well and I cannot wait to bring her home tomorrow.

Cear is one amazing dog.  She's in exceptional health and at 13, she isn't showing too many signs of age.  Okay, I lie.  She's got a white face, appears to be deaf and sleeps a lot more than before but she's still pulling her normal stunts like throwing benders at the cottage, swimming and obviously, getting into trouble.

Happy 13th birthday to my best girl!

Fail & Win

I spoke too soon.  When I posted about my first run of 3 on May 15th, I was perhaps feeling overly ambitious.  That was my first and last run that week.  I have many excuses but none of them too valid.

But...

I made up for it this week!  I ran on Tuesday, Wednesday & Friday.  I'm incredibly out of shape and I know this because my pace is completely off.  It's taking me way too long to complete a km but slow and steady wins the race, right?  I didn't do any great distances (between 3-5km) but I managed a collective 12.5km for the week.  It's definitely a start.

I'm planning a run tomorrow and I'm hyping myself up for a 6-8km distance.  I'm away at a retreat for work from Monday until Wednesday night so I'll already be behind for the week.  I'll have to squeeze in two short runs just to keep up with my personal challenge.

Not a clue what my weight is right now and I don't want to know.  Definitely know I'm not where I should be but my clothes are fitting and I'm sort of feeling confident in them.

May Goals

We're already at the halfway point but my BFF suggested we each pony up our running goals.  I've only been out twice this spring (not good) so I declared that I'd like to go 3x a week for the next 4 weeks.  I'll gradually increase my distance and hopefully get back into my pattern of 30km/week over the summer.

My week counts Monday to Sunday so I've got 2 left to do after last night's short run.

Mother's Day

In advance of the big day, I got in touch with a couple mum friends and suggested we meet up for pints.  Sounds good, right?  It was great.  I spent the morning with my boys (was treated to a new iPod Nano & running watch, a lie in and breakfast made by someone other than ME) and then skipped off to meet up with two friends.  We spent the afternoon slinging pints, eating cheeses & oysters before stumbling home 8 (yes, 8!!!) hours later.  Bed by 11pm and not a fuzzy feeling in the head the next day!

Definitely needs to become tradition.  Definitely.

Are you a 10?

2012 marks the 10th year of the Weekend to End Women's Cancers in Toronto, which has raised over $120 million benefitting The Princess Margaret Hospital.

After being approached (read: coerced & bullied) by fellow co-workers, I approached (read: coerced & bullied) my BFF at work into doing the walk with me & joining the company team.  Despite the revolting blood blisters on my heels and hips that clickity-clacked more than M's Thomas train set for weeks (or months) onwards, it was worth it.  It was so so SO worth it.  It's gut wrenching and motivating and tearjerking and inspiring and tiring and empowering all rolled up into a tight ball of goodness.

Last year, I walked in memory of D's mom who we lost in March 2011 after a very short battle with ovarian cancer.  I walked for & with everyone who has had to go what she did or faced that battle.  I walked for D and M so they don't ever have to know what it feels like to live through that again.  I walked for ME because I'll be damned if any of these cancers are going to affect my family again.

I'll be walking again this year and I'm prepared.  My feet will be covered in Bodyglide and I'll have tissues at the ready.  I'm ready for the tears & the laughs and a good solid time with friends & co-workers.  I'm ready to do my part for research & support.  This year, I am a 10.

2 Months Plus Some

I've been MIA.  Again.  Work & family life has been nuts lately.  I need a weekend just to recover from my weekend.  I'm frazzled yet collected yet coming apart at the seams yet making it happen.  You know? I haven't been in a great place mentally lately so I've been avoiding blogging.  I feel bitchy and cranky and disgruntled.  And tired.  Oh so tired.  Alas, I've got to get it together, plod ahead and get into a better mindset.

Things...

We went to NYC.  I'll do another food review soon.  We ate our way through the city AGAIN.  Obviously.

M turned 3!!!  Time really does fly when you're having fun.

18+ months of hard work have paid off and construction activities have started on my site.  The insanity is about to increase...  tenfold.

I read the Fifty Shades trilogy.  I want to read it again.  I might need my own Christian Grey.

So...

Yeah, that's it for me.  I haven't jumped ship and I'm still here...  hoping to blog a bit more soon.

(Both times, I typed blob instead of blog...  am I trying to tell you something?)

Saturday (Wine Induced) Randomness

When I was pregnant, I craved Journey. Yes, Journey... the 80s rock group. I listened to Don't Stop Believing every.single.day of my pregnancy.

Loudly.

Multiple times.

Driving in my MINI.

Good times.

Judgment Day

A friend's FB status today was about how her kids go bananas when walking into daycare and insist on being carried. She was venting and maybe asking for a bit of advice when one of our mutual friends chimed in and the first question she asked was "do you feel guilty for taking your kids to daycare" before moving on to other questions and finally suggesting that maybe the kids are picking up on mom's vibes.

This question pissed me off. It really did and I let it be known. Yes, I know what she was getting at and she didn't really mean for it to be interpreted that way but she said it and it rubbed me the wrong way. I responded with a sarcastic "I didn't know we were supposed to feel guilty for taking our kids to daycare" before responding directly to my friend's original status.

Stuff like this gets my back up. I've had SO many people ask me if I feel guilty for working or how many hours M spends at daycare and while I maybe sometimes feel not-so-great-on-certain-but-rare-days, I am so over the guilt thing. This is our reality and it works for us and ALL of us are thriving and dare I say... loving it?

As mothers, we judge. I know I did (and do truth be told) though I'm trying to ignore anything that doesn't involve me & our bubble of a life but yeah, I judge the mother who stands there pushing a baby stroller while smoking or the mother who makes no attempt to teach her kid manners and I certainly judge the mother who judges ME. I try not to judge the action but yes ma'am, I will judge the person who judges me.

Since having a baby, I have noticed that some other mothers feel it's within their right to question other mother's parenting choices. The first question most people ask after a mother has her baby is if she had an epidural (I did) or if she did it all naturally. I had SO many people pass judgment on me because I/we CHOSE not to breastfeed. Friends made comments, suggested I just try it, tell me it was better for MY baby, etc. We did not practice attachment parenting and in my little online community of mothers, that was a fate worse than death. When I went back to work, friends constantly asked if I felt guilty about it or if I thought I SHOULD stay home with my son or even implied that my choice to return to work was BAD.

I really don't care how you raise your kid(s) because at the end of the day, you don't live in my home. As long as your kid grows to be a functioning part of society -- you know, doesn't rob banks, beat up other kids and that sort of thing -- I don't care what you do to get them there. Your daughter is in daycare? *gasp* You breastfed your toddler? *omg* You gave birth and took the drugs? *shame* Why do we do this to each other?!

Judge me or make a blanket judgmental statement and yes, I'll judge you for making such ridiculous and ignorant comments that work to make a mother feel badly about the decisions she (and her partner) have made. I'll maybe even judge you for the fear that your kids will pick up on these sorts of ignorant thoughts.

Accepting the Ifs

For the longest time, I didn't think I wanted children. Suddenly, I missed a period, peed on a stick and gave birth 38 weeks later. Love. There is obviously much more to the story than just a don't/do situation and it involved a lot of questions & answers, self-reflection & heartache but here we are and life is good.

Since having M, I've really struggled with the notion of having a 2nd. I mean, I always assumed we'd have another baby because I didn't really want an only child. I wanted M to have the sort of sibling relationship that I share with my brother. I didn't want M to go through what D went through when his mom passed away because he was the only child.

We both always spattered appropriate conversations with "when we have" and never really used "if we have". We packed away M's baby stuff and moved it all -- every little bit -- into my parent's basement for later use. Slowly, conversations shifted to use "if/when we have another" until recently when I announced that I am done. I think. I am.

I spend a lot of time thinking about it and looking into it ('cause I weirdly google anything and everything) and I truly think I'm done. My reasons above are not a good reason for US to have a second baby. For us, there are many reasons for not having a 2nd. Yes, I realize it sounds like I'm trying to convince myself and maybe I am a bit.

I feel done. I feel complete. I feel like M is this bundle of perfection and why would I jinx it by trying to have another?! I don't ever want to be pregnant again. I love working. I love the life D & I can afford for our family with only one child. I feel like D & I can raise a thoughtful & caring but balanced singleton.

I feel like I've finally accepted the ifs and the life D & I have mapped out for our family. There's always a chance we'll change our minds but for right now, we are content and at peace with our decision.

Pretty random post for the first time in over a month, huh?

Saturday Night Party

Between trying to stay warm on this chilly Saturday and hoping to dig myself out of this mountain of work that followed me home this weekend, I'm finally sitting on the couch and doing nothing. I snacked on buttery popcorn, nursed some Emergen-C (the sick & cleansing girl's alternative to wine) and am immersing myself in old episodes of Sex and the City on Cosmo. I am not ashamed to admit that I love(d) this series and am currently experiencing some fond deja vu.

When I first moved to Toronto in the fall of 2000, I was living in my very first OWN home. I loved my little loft on King West and how it afforded me the opportunity to do what I wanted and when I wanted. Saturday nights became my mandated night at home -- I'd start laundry for the week, clean the place and always always ALWAYS indulge in buttery popcorn for dinner followed by a couple glasses of wine... and Sex and the City. At that time, SATC was on Bravo after 11pm. I'd watch in bed and follow it up with miscellaneous crap shows on MTV (Sorority Life, Fraternity Life, etc.) before eventually falling asleep only to wake up, walk the dog and quickly get back into bed in time for Coronation Street to start.

Over the years, some of these have changed. I no longer eat popcorn for dinner because it isn't really the responsible thing to feed your family. Those cheesy shows on MTV are no longer on but that doesn't mean I haven't replaced them with things like The Bachelor & Jersey Shore (which I have somehow coerced poor D into watching with me). Sunday mornings are always reserved for Corrie though I now pepper my Sunday mornings with an early trip to the grocery store. Save for seeing the SATC movies, I haven't watched an episode in ages. Years.

Until recently... over the last few Saturday nights, I've found myself on the couch surfing the television while D has been out or busy doing his own thing downstairs. I have rediscovered my love for SATC. I found it on Cosmo a few weeks ago and it pretty much plays back-to-back episodes all Saturday evening from early until late. Last week, I stayed up way too late watching old episodes and I'm already feeling like tonight could be a repeat. Love this show. I popped some popcorn and settled in with a blanket & laptop to do my usual 'net surfing and am now 3 episodes in on the 3rd season.

My tame Saturday nights as of late are a total throwback to a time 10+ years ago. Good God, I wasn't even 25 at that time.

I've now officially made myself feel old & depressed. This senior citizen is shutting things down and heading to bed.

It's a Sign

I bought the wrong battery. Well, I bought a 3V but it is a different 3V than what we need for the scale. I'm taking it as a sign that I'm not meant to see a number yet.

3V

I decided this evening that I'm not okay with the scale being broken. Purchasing deodourant for D and a 3V battery are on the agenda for tomorrow. Like I said, I'm certain I've lost some weight because there is no way you can eat like a bird and lose zero. I *think* I can tell around my ribcage but my tummy is still there. I'm destined to have a round little belly for life. Bah. That belly means good things but it also drives my poor body image.

(And yes, I realize I need to be working out as well...)

I'm a start-finish sort of girl. I need clear parameters and I need something to motivate me to keep going. I'm sure I'll want to barf or gouge my eyes out (or both) when I see the number on the scale (good God, please be under 140lbs) but I need proof of my efforts and my fatty ways.

Buttery popcorn for a snack tonight. Hold up! Cleanse friendly. Thank God. I was salivating at the thought of just one sip of the wine in D's glass but resisted all temptation.

10 minutes away from day 13.

Friday the 13th

Once again, MIA. Knowingly. The lack of posts hasn't been because of work or home or even lack of things to say but more because I've been trying to wrap my head around my intentions for 2012. I'd like to say that I don't do NY resolutions but I do... I just don't put too much stock into them. As usual, I've got things like eat better, run more, work harder but this year (I think) is all about the moment. I'm determined to live in the moment and just ENJOY.

I'm making an effort to let go of resentment and any sort of bitterness and just move forward. It's not like I'm some scowling hag but yes, I tend to hold grudges and that can affect all other things. What's the point? To be honest, it isn't taking much of an effort because I'm just doing it. I'm done with it. I want to enjoy the day-to-day thing I've got going on over here. I want to stop & think and remind myself that it won't always be this way and that M is only small for such a short time. I need to focus my energy on enjoying M & D (and our families & friends) more and worry less about the stuff -- getting things done, going places, etc.

Anyway... I guess the word for 2012 is enjoy.

What else is new?

Today is day 11 of a cleanse. Well, same cleanse I did about 6 months ago (Wild Rose 12-Day Detox) and technically, tomorrow is my last day. Sunday? Day 1 or 13... however you choose to look at it. I've decided to do another round back-to-back in the hopes of establishing clean eating habits and of course, a bit of weight loss. I'm sure I've lost about 5lbs (scale is broken but I'm okay with that right now) but I have more to go. I'm at the point in the cleanse where it's safe to add in some exercise without fear of exploding so tomorrow, I'm going to attempt the 30 Day Shred by Jillian Michaels. It came in the mail today and I promptly sat down tonight to watch the Level 1 workout to see what I was in for... with bowl of popcorn in hand. Sigh. Popcorn WITH butter is allowed on the Wild Rose! It's not like I was cheating.

It's cold outside and there's snow on the ground so I think my running is on hold until spring. I'm sure I've said this before but I'm not meant to be a winter runner. I get out maybe 3 times every winter and it just isn't for me. So, I'll attempt the Shred and come February, get back into going to the gym. Again, need to finish the cleanse.

And that's pretty much the end of my Friday night stream of consciousness. It's early but I'm heading to bed. I've got a 25 minute workout planned for the morning. Barf.