Madeleine Albright

My Dad recently passed his copy of Madeleine Albright's biography "Madam Secretary" to me and thought I'd really enjoy it. I absolutely am and it is exactly the sort of thing I need to be reading right now.

During the last few weeks of work, I've been presented and confronted with various career opportunities that can & will provide me with fantastic experiences as well as the chance to prove myself in different roles at my company. I am jumping on anything that comes my way because I'm ready for the challenges and I really want to push myself to the next level.

But...

At the end of the day, I have to accept said opportunities knowing my limits. My limits are driven by M and I will admit that I am really struggling with them right now. Gone are the days when I can be at work before 7am and leave after 5 or 6pm. I'm not saying I miss those long days but I miss knowing that I can do them if or when needed. I always loved being at work so early because it gave me that good bit of time to start my day before the site or office was busy. It's hard to speak up and say "I can't make that meeting because I won't be in yet" or "I can't go to site for 3pm because I need to leave at 4pm to get my son from daycare" because as those words come out of my career-loving 30-something mouth, I can't help but think one thing...

CAREER KILLER.

Gah. How awful is it that I'm admitting to this?! I love M more than life itself and everyone knows this fact but I'm still really struggling with how to grow my professional self while succeeding as a mum. It's really hard to view my day as such a strict & structured calendar day (and this is coming from someone who craves routine) because I just don't have the flexibility to alter my day at a moment's notice.

D has been great at helping me get to work for 7am (or close to it) when needed and will do the daycare pick-up when I need to stay later than (my new) normal. It's a catch-22 because then I miss out on those moments with M. I swear I will never tire of seeing that smiling face when I come into his daycare room to pick him up! Best moment of my day. EVER.

I know everything will work out and I've always had the attitude that if it's meant to be, it'll happen. I have to learn to NOT be embarrassed to say you can't do something because you fear it will be a career-limiting move. In this day and age, I'm certainly not the first or last mother to work and most companies recognize this fact. I'm lucky to work for a very family-oriented company and am surrounded by (mostly) men who are solid family men. It makes a difference.

There are already so many passages I've read that make me love Madeleine Albright more. Only 53 pages in and this quote spoke to me:

I must admit though that I feel somewhat like a pioneer. I am not satisfied to sit back for the rest of my life and contemplate in which order to clean the rooms. I want to find a solution and still feel that somehow it must be possible to be a responsible mother, a good wife and have an intellectually satisfying job.