Back to School

My kid is barely past 3 and doesn't officially start school for another year.  He just graduated to Senior Preschool and in his eyes, it's the shit because he's in the bigger classroom and back with a few of his older friends...  you know, January babies and such.  Meanwhile, I'm completely freaking out about where the F we are are going to send him to school next year.

Seriously.

This is the stuff that is clouding my mind and keeping me up at night.  I can't stop obsessing about it and now D & I are coming up with ridiculous schemes to get us into areas with better schools.  Moving, private school, Catholic (um...  neither of us are practicing and heck, I'm not even Catholic but if it's a better school...) and using a friend's address are just many of the insane ideas filling our heads.

Why on earth are we such over-achievers when it comes to our 3 year old's future schooling?!  At the end of the day, I want him to learn in a welcoming environment under the tutelage of a teacher like my BFF (unfortunately, we can't get him into her awesome school) and I just want him to have friends and be a nice little boy.  Sigh.

Am I really going to obsess about this for the next year?

We Haz the Sick. Oy Vey.

M is sick. Touch wood, just a cold but still sick. Boo. And not a good Hallowe'en-y scary sort of boo because we're having a little Hallowe'en party this Saturday and I want him to be well. You know, germ(less) around all the other kiddos.

BUT... the silver lining? This time last year (going by the school year), M was on his 3rd case of strep in 2 months. Thank God for no strep.

Tickle, tickle. Scratch, scratch. Fingers & toes crossed M doesn't share his sick with us... or my parents who are coming down tomorrow.

2 and a Half

We met with our SLP last Friday for a reassessment of M's speech & language to date. After almost two hours of interactive play, learning games and some subtle note taking for good measure, she looked at me with a HUGE smile on her face and said she was thrilled to tell me that M no longer even qualifies for speech therapy! She was so happy with his progress and noted that he was surpassing most of the language milestones for the 36-42 month range (M is currently 30 months).

We are so pleased with our little guy! Patience, modeling and working together constantly has paid off. Yes, I became that mum that I always vowed I wouldn't be... you know, the one saying "grEEn PePPer" at the grocery store while pointing to my mouth and repeating said word over and over. The Hanen course I was invited to participate in turned out to be invaluable because we finally figured out how M needed to learn from us. He chats constantly and we are finally having those "for the love of God, be quiet!" moments that people warned us about. It's worth it though. So so so worth it.

She wants to reassess M again in 6 months to make sure he's still progressing. She took note of some pronunciations that are typically developmental (th as d, etc.) and wants to make sure he outgrows them. If he needs therapy again, we're on their radar and will never have an issue being seen again. Phew.

The best thing about M's speech therapy is that it was almost like a parenting book all wrapped up in a fun little package. We learned so many obvious things that we'd been skipping over in our attempts to get him to communicate more and ended up learning that those same things that taught M sounds and words would also diffuse tantrums, distract from tears and get him to WANT to chat with us more.

Best ever.

An Update on the Patient

A couple weeks back, I wrote about M's surgery to have his tonsils & adenoids removed. His recovery was quick & he was back at it within 48 hours of the surgery. We had to keep him home for almost 2 weeks to prevent infection but he went back to school this week.

We've noticed significant changes already. First, he no longer snores. He was a total bear before the surgery and he's SO quiet when he sleeps that I find myself checking him constantly to make sure he's okay. Second, he's having better sleeps. We've been lucky to have a kid who likes his sleep and always gives it the ol' college try but we can definitely tell that he's waking more refreshed and having better naps. Lastly, his speech is improving! We're thankful that his nasally pipsqueak voice is s-l-o-w-l-y disappearing (a side effect from the surgery) but he speaks with a much more clear voice now. We can understand him better and his parrot ways are nonstop.

Oddly enough, this post coincides with a letter we received from the SLP. We'll be getting a call shortly to schedule a reassessment and I know they're going to be thrilled. Yay! We are so excited for M.

The Patient

Surgery was a success! M's tonsils & adenoids were removed and the fluid in his ears & chest was drained. It was a short procedure but a long day and there were a few things we just weren't prepared for despite reading up on what to expect.

First, I thought we'd be allowed in the room when they were putting him out. Wrong. The doctor came to talk to us and said the nurse would be coming soon to bring M into the operating room. The doctor excited M with her talk about all the Spiderman & Thomas stickers and he was sad when he left without her. When the nurse came, we walked down the hall to the doors that opened to the operating area and the anaesthesiologist told us they'd put him out using a mask before inserting the IV. He warned that small children were particularly restless when coming out of the anaesthetic but it would only last about 30 minutes to an hour. Two seconds later, the big doors opened up and M walked in with the nurse. He didn't even look back. A little part of me died and I broke down in tears.

Second, the word "restless" doesn't even come close to describing how M was as he came to after surgery. The nurse came to get me just as he started to wake and I came into recovery to find a little boy who was sobbing, screaming, coughing & hacking who was just so completely out of it. I scooped him up and he was flipping between angry rage, sobbing fits & limp exhaustion all while coughing up blood & mucous on my shoulders. Hard.

Third, after what seemed like eternity of the "restless" phase, the nurses decided M needed a bit of morphine because he was just so far gone and he was beyond the point of calming. Just when it seemed like he might be calming down, cue the nurse noticing a pile of blood on the floor behind me. They quickly realized it wasn't from his mouth but rather, his IV came out during his struggles with himself. Six nurses later, the IV was back in and another dose of morphine & Gravol was administered.

Lastly, after all of the above, I honestly didn't expect recovery to be so slow. I wrongly expected our little guy to be full of smiles as he came out of surgery but he wasn't. It took him a good few hours to be at all complacent and even then, everything was a struggle. He felt so horrible that he didn't want a single sip of water or a popsicle and of course, we weren't allowed to leave until he'd started drinking. The nurses had to give him yet another dose of morphine and only then did he turn a corner and want to eat popsicles. 5 or 6 white grape popsicles later, we were given the all clear to head home.

We came home and M was starving. He was begging for Goldfish crackers, which he obviously couldn't have so he instead inhaled 4 scrambled eggs, chocolate pudding, avocado, well cooked orzo cooked in chicken stock with cheese and various other soft nibbles. We had to administer antibiotics and he pitched an epic meltdown because they burned his poor throat. He eventually cried himself into sleep on D's chest and we took him to bed.

All in all, we're on day 3 and things are going well. He has ups & downs and he's definitely still in pain. He's on Tylenol and we've been told days 4 & 5 are worse than the first. Hopefully not! I'm so glad the procedure is done and I'm really hoping we notice a difference in his health over the next few seasons. M is such a little trooper!

Tonsils & Adenoids... Oh My!

Big day for the little guy tomorrow. After countless battles with strep throat, M is finally having his tonsils & adenoids removed tomorrow morning. Poor little guy doesn't have a clue what's going on (and admittedly, we haven't been talking about it with him) so I know his biggest concern will be his missing water & breakfast tomorrow morning. Surgery is at 9:50am and we have to be there 2 hours before so we're hoping a swift 'get up & go' will be enough of a distraction. Here's hoping for a quick & successful snip and speedy recovery! Keeping a toddler still & quiet for a few days is going to be enough of a challenge.

We Have a Combiner on Our Hands!

M had a follow up assessment at the speech therapy clinic this morning and they were so pleased!

At our SLPs urging, we've skipped the current block of therapy that is one-on-one (well, two) between therapist & child/parent for a specialized course built by The Hanen Centre for parents only. It's based on a well known book called It Takes Two to Talk and the course basically breaks it down in detail and provides parents with the insight & skills to work with their toddler. On the one hand, it's been informative and very comforting to know there are lots of other slow-to-speak kids out there. On the other hand, it's pretty much been a repeat of what we learned (just without knowing or labeling it) during our one-on-one sessions.

Who cares!? It's working! M is a combiner!

There are four basic stages of early communication & language:

• Discovers - Reactionary but do not communicate with purpose.
• Communicators - Nonverbal in nature.
• First Word Users - Single word use.
• Combiners - Combine 2-3 words into sentences.

M is actually past the combiner stage because he will use 4-5 words in a sentence. The SLP was happy to note that he uses I and I'm and only uses "me" to refer to himself the odd time. She noticed how he was so much more engaged during play and looked for opportunities to chat, take turns and in general, communicate. Yay!

A lot of people have asked if I felt we started this process too early with M. I'm sure they wonder if we jumped the gun and went through all of this when it may not have been necessary. Truth be told, we'll never really know but I am so glad we listened to our doctor at his 1 year appointment when she said to get him on the waiting list. She saw that he wasn't talking or babbling at all and we were beginning to catch on to it, too. It was the one milestone he consistently wasn't hitting. We were lucky to start seeing an SLP when M was 18 months and at that time, he was a communicator. He's made a tonne of progress over the last 6 months and I'm positive it's because of all the great tips & tricks we received.

I'm so proud of my little guy! His vocabulary is growing and he wants to repeat. He actually wants to look at and talk to us! He's like this tiny little person attempting to have an intelligent conversation. It's amazing! Go M go!

Wordless Wednesday

This sweet little face greets me each morning. Love.

Two Years Ago Today...

Excuse me while I wax poetic for a few...

Two years ago today, my water broke at 4:30am. At noon, my contractions started while D & I shopped for a barbecue at Home Depot and when I told him what was going on, I pretty much had to scrape him off the floor. At 3:30pm-ish, we headed to the hospital and I will never forget those contractions along Gerrard Street when it felt like each one coincided with a red light. After a good hour of loitering by a candy machine in triage, we finally got a room at 5pm-ish and we found out I was only 3cm dilated. Shortly thereafter, we found out M was posterior (hence, the back labour) and we ordered the epidural. By the time it was in at 7pm, I was 7cm. Fast forward to 8:30pm and I was 10cm. Time to push!

At 8:37pm, my amazing son was born. D & I are so lucky and to this day, I'm pretty sure we both look at this kid and wonder what we did to deserve him. He is our everything and all that we do is guided by his sweet self. Love.

I love this little guy more than anything in the world. When I hold him in my arms, I want to squish him. A good squish but man alive, a good squish. I can't get enough of the looks, the laughs and the random things he says to us. We are so blessed to have such a sweetie in our lives.

So, cheers little buddy! Happy 2nd birthday! You light up our lives and it is your light that we follow day by day. Love to M!

Best.Song.Ever

Well, for M anyway... I heart this song and love watching the video with M. He loves it, too!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyVzjoj96vs

Christmas 2010

And just like that, Christmas is over. My main motivation this year was to really start creating traditions that we'll follow for years to come. I want M to have the same sort of "oh yeah, it's Christmas and this and that happens" memories that I have from my childhood.

D tracked down the elusive Le Creuset fondue pot so that sealed our new fate for Christmas Eve. On Christmas Day, we hosted my parents and my in-laws for dinner and I did a beef tenderloin with various carrot, spinach and potato recipes (all new to my repertoire) followed by Baileys chocolate mousse. On Boxing Day, we headed to my parent's house for the usual turkey dinner.

M was totally spoiled and loves his new Thomas the Tank Engine train table. He got a number of gifts that will be put away for another time and some that will be donated. He's a lucky kid so he needs to learn early that sharing with others is a very good thing.

In my family, we have a limit of $50 per person but each couple makes a $100 donation to charity. A few years back, gifts were getting out control and everyone was spending way too much money. The limit makes you THINK of what the recipient will want and the donation reminds everyone of what Christmas is actually all about. This is a fantastic tradition that I love and am so glad M is going to grow up knowing that Christmas is all about giving a little, getting a little and doing a whole lot of good.

A few weeks or months ago, a friend shared with me a story about her friend's almost 2 year old son who is battling brain cancer at Sick Kids. I spent hours reading her blog and I cannot stop thinking about this little family. So, my family directed their charitable donations this year to Sick Kids and doing a little token gift for the boy. Heart. It's a small thing but one of those things that makes me feel good to know that all of us are sending healing thoughts to someone who will never know us and that maybe, just maybe, that small donation will help the hospital find a cure.

All in all, we had a fabulous little Christmas!

Scrooge.

This picture basically sums up the extent of the

Christmas spirit that is floating around our house this year.

Bah humbug.

I was in a car accident today. With M. Holy F*CK. Hands down, today will go down in the books as the scariest day of my life.

M & I were heading to my parent's house to spend the morning decorating a gingerbread house with my Mum. We were driving in the middle lane of the DVP when the car ahead of me put on their brakes. I had to brake hard and swerve to avoid ramming straight into the back of the car. I looked to my right and the slow lane was full of cars. I looked to the left and thought the car was empty. I swerved into the lane but there was a car in my blind spot. We made contact and I was pushed back towards the middle lane where I struck the car I was trying to avoid.

The whole thing took seconds but the event is going to stick with me for a very long time. I watched M via my rearview mirror and saw him being jostled in his seat from the impacts. He was totally fine but stunned into silence. There is no way the impact & noise didn't startle him. I pulled over and immediately checked him over. He gave me a smile as if to say "WTF" but I couldn't stop shaking. I am still going over every last detail and can't stop the 'what ifs' from crawling into my head.

Everyone was okay. The cars were not and not one could be driven. Not the end of the world, right? We are so very lucky that nobody was hurt today and I am so thankful that nothing bad happened to M. I don't know what I would have done if things didn't turn out just the way they have.

Just yesterday, I was looking at M in the car seat and thinking how pleased I was that we have made it to 20 months rear facing. Of course, this was after D bonked his head while attempting to get him into the seat and M was screaming his head off. Yes, it's a PITA at times but it is the SAFEST way for M to travel in the car. D has suggested many times we turn him around and I always said I just wasn't ready yet. Mummy instinct? Definitely. My goal was to keep M rear facing until his 2nd birthday. Now? Longer.

Did you know your car seat needs to be replaced if it is involved in a car accident of moderate to more severity? We've already purchased M's new seat (again, a Britax Advocate CS) and I am so happy that the 2010 will allow M to stay rear facing until he is 40lbs (and 49") instead of the old 35lb limit.

Alas, we are all okay. D was amazing today and kept me calm (sort of) and sane. He encouraged me to relax and take it as it came. M is now sleeping soundly upstairs and luckily, the laughs and hugs were plentiful today. That said, horrible day and I wish to never experience anything like it ever again.

If this was Facebook...

My status would read "Jenn is having a lot of trouble understanding and coping with M's language delay issues."

I feel completely sad, overwhelmed and defeated. I don't even want to talk about it because all I can do is crack jokes and make it seem like I'm okay with it but really, I'm not. I'm frustrated because I feel like all the extra effort we're putting in isn't exactly paying off. I feel gipped that we aren't getting this part of toddlerhood and we have to work for it. I feel like nobody believes me when I say he has said certain words (banana and book, for example) but that he just won't say them again. I just want to squeeze him with so much love that words fly out of his mouth!

We have been working with an speech/language pathologist (SLP) for over a month now and while he is making some progress, it isn't happening how I'd like it to happen. You know, NOW. Much of what we're taught is common sense and I think M notices that we're engaging him in different ways. He looks to us & at us and is making more attempts to communicate verbally but he is not where he should be.

On Thursday, I asked the SLP if there was a chance M could have a tongue tie. Save for language, he is meeting or exceeding his milestones and we've never had any eating, drinking or teething issues. She explained the rarity of this and said it was unlikely M had this problem. I tried to argue that because I never breastfed, maybe it just hadn't been discovered. Nope, no bite. I broke down and told her that I need an answer or reason why this happening. I want it to be something that is an easy fix. I can't stop my brain from fast forwarding years down the road and creating all sorts of scenarios in my head. I hate to admit it but I don't want him to be that kid who needs extra help in class.

I felt so down all day on Thursday. I know we are so so so lucky to have such a perfect & healthy kid but I can't help but let this bother me. I want everything to be easy for him and it hurts me to see him struggling. Later that day, the SLP coordinator phoned to make sure I was okay as our SLP had let her know about my concerns (read: melodramatic mother exhibiting Munchausen syndrome) and we had one of the best chats I've had in a long time. I cried but she spoke over my sobs and made me agree that there is nothing we did or didn't do to have this happen. M is M is M and he was destined to have this problem. She reaffirmed that M will talk but that things are on his own time. She understood my concerns as both an SLP and a fellow mother.

I have to trust in the professionals and follow their program. They are going to speak with the teachers at M's daycare to ensure we're all following the same program. The SLP coordinator is going to sit in on M's next session to check progress and fingers crossed she'll see it.

So, we push forward with M. We speak clearly, verbalize EVERYTHING and ensure M is looking at us whenever we talk. We engage him, distract him and play with him at his level. Most of all, we love him. We will get there.

Poor Baby!

Once again, M is sick. This time, he's got pink eye & a 2nd bout of strep throat. Gah.

We started seeing a naturopath at the beginning of October and while we initially thought we were seeing changes, I don't really think we are. Outside of feeding a very healthy diet (which we were doing before), we've cut wheat & cow dairy out of M's diet as those things are often considered to contribute to allergies & sickness. This poor guy is getting lots of supplements and while nothing hurts, I hate feeling like he gets a meal of pure supplements & vitamins a day.

Sigh.

We had his 18 month check up the other day and the doctor encouraged the naturopath route, applauded the diet changes & supplements but was honest when she said that maybe, just maybe, this kid needs to go through a full year of all seasons of sickness before his immunity system is stronger.

Ugh.

So, we'll keep at it and hope for the best. I would love for M to have just one week without the sniffles or a cough. Maybe for Christmas?

Sick Baby!

I used to always think I'd be this crazed, over-protective & neurotic mother and as it turns out, I've been a pretty relaxed, easygoing and fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants mother. I think I've always been the face of calm when it comes to illness, falls and other baby/toddler stresses. I'm sure I flew off the handle about some things when M was younger but I've likely blocked them out in order to seal my fate as most cool & collected mama around.

Until today...

When I got to M's daycare today, he was sleeping. It was odd because he never takes 2 naps at daycare anymore and even more odd that he was asleep at 5pm. We went to wake him up and he was so out of it, completely lethargic, moaning and generally, completely out of sorts. I picked him up and he was on FIRE! The amazing girls at his daycare flew into action -- washcloths on the forehead and neck and a thermometer in his armpit. During the course of the afternoon, M's temperature rose to 103 plus. Scary!

I panicked! For what seems like the first time, I was a panicked parent. I was running around and trying to figure out what to do. I called D in a panic, left M with the girls and ran to the store in the hopes of getting infant Tylenol and finally, put M in the stroller and RAN to the nearest pharmacy. I had thoughts of febrile convulsions at the back of my mind and I was doing anything & everything to engage M. He wasn't having any part of it.

D picked us up and brought us home. We flip flopped about going to the hospital but really, all they would tell us it to get the fever down and keep him hydrated. We were relatively successful with that before M went to bed but not after a bit of projectile vomiting. Poor baby!

Fevers throw me into absolute tailspins. I feel like I can handle everything else but fevers push me into this zone of terror. I'm petrified of certain viruses -- the M word... just not even going to say it -- and what comes next. I try to remind myself that fevers are the natural way to fight a virus and that it needs to run its course but still... SCARY!

Anyway, M is sleeping and I've got my ear glued to the monitor. Here's hoping he has a good night and wakes up feeling like a new guy!

Hug!

M is addicted to this book. ADDICTED. I honestly think I read it to him 53 times today and that is no exaggeration.

I absolutely LOVE his love for books and the way he thrusts them at me and lifts his arms up to be pulled into my lap. I love that we're raising a reader!

Feeling Inspired

While home today taking care of a sick M, I was inspired to both be motherly and make him a treat but to also purge some items in the fridge & freezer. So, I made homemade Pop Tarts with puff pastry that has been claiming valuable freezer space!

So easy & really delicious!

Ingredients

Puff Pastry

Cream Cheese

Jam

Unroll the puff pastry and use a cookie cutter or glass to cut round shapes. Make sure you have an even number and then lay half the rounds on parchment on a baking tray. Put a dollop of cream cheese (maybe a tablespoon) on the centre and spread it a bit. Add a bit (maybe a teaspoon) of jam (I used raspberry) and spread it slightly. Add another round of pastry, crimp the edges with a fork and then brush milk across the top. Put an X in the centre before popping them into a 425 degree oven for 10 minutes or until golden brown.

M and I both loved them and they were a perfect afternoon treat!

It's a SIGN!!!

Bwahahahahaha!

This was just in my inbox:

http://www.babycenter.com/0_your-15-month-olds-behavior-more-meltdowns_1213396.bc?scid=mbtw_post15m_3w_babycom:488

Someone out there wants to help me!

Never Again!

I will never travel with a toddler again. Ever. It was a disaster.

Okay, I lie. I'm sure we will BUT at least we know a few things going forward.

M is at that awkward age where he is too young & curious to walk with us, follow us directionally and hold our hands when needed. On the flip side, he's too old & active to be contained in a stroller for any length of time. He wants to explore but as with any 16 month old, he wants to explore on his terms.

So... that brings us to our next issue. Tantrums! Who replaced my sweet boy with a little man who melts down at the simplest of things?! Taking away something he shouldn't be playing with, putting him back into the stroller or not letting him take sips of coffee or beer drove this kid to distraction. The screeching and tears were unbearable!

And that takes us to the other big issue. Food. Sigh. That means anything edible and it doesn't matter if it comes via room service (where he walked back and forth between us begging for bites), Tupperware (Cheerios were our saving grace this trip) and any sort of time spent in a restaurant. Unless he is starving & the food comes immediately, he is not the sort of dinner date you want at a restaurant. We had more than one trip to a restaurant where one of us had to make a quick exit with him. If he's hungry, he screams. If he's full, he screams. If the food isn't coming quick enough or isn't to his liking at that moment, he screams. It's awesome.

Like that old rule of thumb of one minute of timeout per year of age, I think the same sort of general rule goes for attention span. I think 16 minutes (one minute per month of age) is the most we can get out of this kid. At that point, it's on to the next one and damn it, we have no choice in the matter.

The highlight of the trip? The 45 minutes of pure screaming on the flight back. Thank God we were flying in one of Porter's turboprop planes. For the novice out there, that means the loud humming drowned out M's screams and he simply looked like an oh-so-disgruntled toddler to all those gawking passengers.