Day 3

Surviving.

So far, I have done the following:

1. Consumed lots of water.
2. Eaten lots of veggies... without dip.
3. Had only 1 beer. It was a can of Lucky so let's face it, Lucky is not beer.
4. No fries. Okay, I lie. I ate less than 10 last night.
5. I've gone running! Once.

I guessed at my weight and plugged it into a random website, which told me my ideal weight is 129lbs and that a I could reach that number by August 12th, 2010. Perhaps I'll make that my new goal?

Fat.

And not in the cool 'ph' sort of way.

I'm fat. I really & truly am. I was just getting dressed and it hit me that I'm practically hiking my jeans up to my armpits in an attempt to hide my love handles. I look like I'm 4-5 months pregnant and the flowing top I'm wearing doesn't let others think otherwise. I can sense my double chin when I'm not even doing anything! F*ck.

I need an intervention. I need to grow some balls and stick with a diet and healthier eating habits. I need to muster up all the motivation and willpower I have to say no to the bad stuff and yes to exercise. I need someone to come to my house and force me outside for a workout. I need to be beaten into shape! I think I hit my body image rock bottom this morning. Sigh.

My 5 lifestyle changes, effective immediately, are as follows:

1. Water, water and more water.

2. Absolutely no snacks that involve dip.

3. Once again, no wine or beer on weeknights.

4. No fries.

5. Exercise. Get off the couch & run!

There is no way I'm stepping on a scale this morning seeing as I've already eaten 3kg of chips and a vat of dip and it's not even 10:30am yet. From this point onward, I will do better TODAY!

Live by the List!

I love lists. Lists are the only way I stay on top of things and they give me such a sense of accomplishment. I feel so satisfied when I'm able to cross things I've done or bought off my lists!

I make lists telling me what I need to do each day, what needs to be cleaned and what I need from the grocery store. I live by a list at work, too. I keep an excellent record of what I need to do, things I've done, people I've spoken to or need to call and in general, I'm organized there.

I have a running list of things I want for myself or the house that I would consider non-essential items. Yesterday, D & I created our master wish list for the backyard and it's something we'll plug away at throughout the summer. It'll remind us of what we want and allow us to spread out the purchases.

Since going back to work, I've been slacking in the list department. Case in point? I went to the grocery store on Friday for homo milk for Max and a few veggies for the cottage. I went in repeating "milk, veggies & dip, hummus" over and over again. I came out with everything but the milk. We went grocery shopping yesterday and once again, no list. I forgot all of the basic essentials. I should have had a list!

My May resolution is to get back into the list thing. It's the only way for me to stay on top of things and keep within a budget. So, notebook at the ready and pen in hand... off to list I go!

Babble.

I've been keeping a secret. Some people knew about it and I'm sure some people certainly noticed but for the most part, I've held this one close to my heart and kept it quiet.

No, not pregnant. Promise!

A few months back, our doctor asked if M was babbling and making lots of sounds at his 9 month appointment. I said yes because he was... right? Well, no. What I thought was babble was really just variations of the same sound. It really wasn't until I spent more time with other babies and heard the repetitive babble & sounds they were making that I wondered why M wasn't doing the same. He was hitting all other milestones so I wasn't too worried and I put it down to a few things. Perhaps we'd been too conversational with him? Not enough flashcard or book time? He was putting all his energy into crawling and standing and basically, moving? He'd always been a quiet kid, the type who stares intently and slowly smiles but never laughs & waves at strangers. He loved being around people but was always happy to play independently.

Fast forward to his 12 month appointment a few weeks back and I had to admit to our doctor that M still hadn't said a word and was only making the same variation of a "ha" sound. He knows what we're talking about and follows instructions but it doesn't matter what you say or how often you repeat it, he'll only answer back with a "ha" or an "enh" noise. She suggested we call to get on the 6-8 month waiting list for a speech pathologist to help us pinpoint the problem. I finally called last night after M's follow-up doctor's visit for his vaccinations and got us on the list. The woman on the other end of the phone suggested we arrange a hearing test for M to make sure his hearing is up to snuff. He's clearly hearing us but maybe not as good as he could be.

I emailed my boss whose wife is an audiologist and she called me immediately. She calmed my fears and without looking at him, she is certain he doesn't have hearing issues based on our chat. That said, she is going to take a look at him next week and make sure he doesn't have any issues like fluid in the ears or hearing loss.

When I came home from my appointment, D was walking M by the hands back and forth through the house. As he came towards me, I heard the most wonderful sound ever!

"Umma, umma, mama!"

Honestly, that was the FIRST time he'd ever made a noise other than the "ha" sound and later that night, he was babbling nonstop. Those were the best sounds I've ever heard. He was trying out his vowels & consonants all night and all morning! I am so happy.

It's been hard to keep this to myself because I've wanted to share and ask for advice but so often, there can be this "he's not WHAT?!" or "my child was doing that at X age!!!" which prevented me from saying anything. I was worried people, even friends, would think there was something wrong or inferior with M and even think that D & I hadn't done enough with him. I know parenting isn't a competition but sometimes it's really hard not to compare your child to others. Last night reminded me of that old adage that slow & steady wins the race and once again, to never pass judgment on another mother or child. You never know what's happening behind closed doors.

Another Reason to Feel Less Guilty?

http://www.nih.gov/news/health/may2010/nichd-14.htm

So True.

http://jaelithej.blogspot.com/2010/03/to-my-friends-who-work-outside-home.html

Seriously?

Diaper changes, changing clothes or getting ready for bed have become absolutely horrible! He writhes, flips, twists and screams as if you're pulling every last toenail off with your teeth. I'm certain our neighbours hear this and must think we're torturing the little guy! He can manage to flip himself over (even when belted down) and get onto all fours, which allows him to buck like a bull. Offering toys or books does nothing anymore and there is obviously no way to reason with a toddler. I find myself hiding out when it's time to do any of the aforementioned activities if D is home. I gave birth to him! That gives me an out, no?!

October 2010

I've set a challenge for D & I and I'm giving us 5 months to hit the target. I can't really say what it is because it's fairly personal but I can tell you that it has absolutely nothing to do with having a 2nd child! I'm assuming that would be everyone's first guess so I'll cut it off at the knees right now.

What else?

Hmmm... not much. M started back at daycare yesterday and had an okay but admittedly rough day. Poor guy. Today was better so I'm hoping things are on the up & up. I've got everything crossed that he doesn't come down with anything else anytime soon. We need to get into a good routine.

We're celebrating Mother's Day with our families this weekend and are hosting it at our house. We're going simple with burgers but I need some new salad ideas. Any suggestions?

I haven't weighed myself in forever but *think* I'm going to do it this weekend. I know I need to start running or doing some sort of activity but I have absolutely no motivation. I'm like a giant sloth. I'm back at work so walking less BUT eating more frequent meals. I can't graze as much as I would normally though I tend to eat my entire lunch before 8am. I have to work on that one!

I actually feel like I'm making progress with cleaning & organizing the house. I finally took care of the front hall closet and we're getting rid of the playard in the kitchen, both of which offer a lot more space on our main floor. I'm determined to live a clutter free life!

Alright, over & out! The finale of America's Next Top Model is calling!

All Better!

It was a rough go and one where everyone around us (including all our babysitters) ended up sick but I think M is FINALLY all better! He finally turned a corner this weekend and had two GOOD days. Sadly, he's making the return to daycare tomorrow morning so I know the next bug or cold is just around the corner.

We had a quiet weekend, which is just what I wanted. I wanted M to get better but I also wanted a relaxing, errand free Mother's Day. I was spoiled with a new Coach handbag and we went out for a pint to celebrate on Sunday afternoon. D got up with M in the morning and I'm pretty sure I managed to evade most diaper changes!

Anyway, boring post but I'm checking in regardless. My little cleaning schedule seems to be working so far and I'm feeling on top of our home life. So far, so good!

Going Green in 2010

Okay, last post of the evening! Promise.

There's a great blog I follow by a SAHM who is attempting to "green" her family's life in 2010 by accepting a new challenge daily. I will admit to not always being the most green person but I often think of her tips and try to incorporate them into my life. I almost always think of her on recycling day because we have a pretty huge bin but I feel like I'm always cramming it full and adding separate bags at the curb.

Fast forward to last Sunday when I was moving all my products to the downstairs bathroom in preparation of starting work. I almost always use body wash but have lots of fancy soaps received as gifts hanging around the bathroom. I've decided that from now on, I'm going to use soap instead of packaged body wash. Almost all of the soaps I have are all natural and made by people we know, which is a nice bonus. It's not much but it's one less container to purchase that ultimately ends up in the recycling bin.

Check out Nicole's blog because I'm sure you'll find some inspiring ideas: http://greenin2010.blogspot.com/.

Obsessed

I'm currently obsessed with developing the ultimate cleaning schedule. Weird, I know BUT in my defense, we started my first week back at work with a clean house and it felt great all week. Granted, M & I weren't there to mess it up on a daily basis but we were at least in control of clutter.

I tracked my cleaning habits all week and came up with a mock schedule of tasks to be completed daily, weekly or as needed. I'm hoping to post this on the fridge in an attempt to be held accountable to my chores so I don't feel like I'm losing hours each weekend to keeping house. Hell, a working woman should still be able to enjoy a clean house and a life, no?!

Sunday - Vacuum upstairs & main floor; wash all floors and tidy living/dining.

Monday - Clean basement bathroom & laundry area.

Tuesday - Vacuum main floor.

Wednesday - Off! Relax with a bottle of a wine.

Thursday - Vacuum & wash main floor and tidy living/dining.

Friday - Vacuum upstairs and clean upstairs bathroom.

Saturday - Vacuum stairs from top to main as well as basement.

Daily Tasks:

• Clean kitchen (dishes, counters, highchair, bottles, etc.).
• Tidy M's toys (both main area & bedroom).

As Needed:

• Laundry (washed, folded & put away as needed).
• Take out garbage & recycling as needed.

I'm REALLY hoping to stick with this rough schedule. It's a nice feeling to come home from work and not be immediately confronted by a messy living room. I know that we aren't the most fastidious cleaners and let's face it, we both hoard crap BUT I think we can manage to live a relatively organized life. Fingers crossed!

We Survived!

We successfully navigated my first week back at work but we had a few hiccups along the way.

Firstly, it's good to be back at work. The first day was a little weird but by day 2, it felt like I'd never left. The week sailed by and when I put my feet on the floor on Friday morning, I had that 'TGIF' feeling as if it had never left.

But... M has the sickness. The sickness? Yes, the sickness. That disgusting viral bug from daycare that he just can't seem to shake. The poor guy has been feverish and suffered from all the nasty stuff like vomiting and diarrhea. We had to keep him home for the latter half of the week and ended up at Sick Kids for the 2nd time in 10 days on Friday afternoon.

*Insert mini rant here: D's mom was looking after M on Friday and he simply wasn't himself. He was lethargic and not eating or drinking. I ended up having to leave work early to take him to the hospital. Now, I normally wouldn't use hospital resources but was left with no choice when our doctor's office was open but NOT answering the phone on Friday. WTF?! I don't get it. I did try to find a walk-in clinic but didn't have much luck in our area. There are only so many times you can call your son's name when driving aimlessly because the addresses you have seem to be MIA and get NO response before you sh!t bricks and head to the hospital.

Anyway, M is feeling much better though still suffering from some tummy upset. Let's hope it's back to business tomorrow or we'll be scrambling again on Monday morning.

So, it was a decent week all in all. Let's hope it continues!

Welcome to the world, baby Ayden Louise!

Congratulations to C & T on the birth of their beautiful baby girl! Yet to meet her but love her already!