What Happens When You Do Nothing & Eat Everything for a Week?

This: 138.6lbs.

Punishment? Sort of. I forced myself out for a 5.5km run and feel better for it.

Cravings.

No, I'm not pregnant. That said, I crave burritos constantly. All the time. Since going back to work, I obsessively think about those delicious bundles of chicken, rice, cheese and toppings like guacamole, salsa and sour cream. It's actually quite embarrassing how often I *would* eat one if I didn't think my co-workers (and waistline) would notice.

I had been doing so well and then the weekend hit. I ran 9km last Friday and then it basically went down the toilet. I didn't eat horribly but I didn't exactly count calories. I also did little to no exercise. I forced myself out for a short (er... 3.5km) run on Tuesday night and haven't been out since. As I write this, I'm trying to motivate myself to get out there for a good run tonight.

My weight is likely hovering around 138-139lbs and I can feel the pudge again. I know a lot of it is in my head but I feel like it's back. I hate it! But why on earth can't I use that to push myself?! I KNOW I will feel better if I go for a run but I am so unmotivated and lazy that I just don't want to do it. I keep thinking of what was likely a 2000 calorie lunch and know I have no choice but to get off my butt tonight. Sigh.

And He's Off!

M is walking! Yay M! He's been practicing nonstop and walking with his car or by holding our hands (or anyone's hands for that matter) and managed to take 1 or 2 tentative steps earlier this week. Today he mustered up the courage and WALKED!!! He walked across the kitchen and can successfully navigate a good 10' or so at which point he is so thrilled with himself that he laughs and loses his balance!

What a great day! Our lives are about to change... again! Go M gooooooo!

Hitting the Bottle! Or Hiding...

M is 14 and a half months old now and still enjoying 3 bottles a day. I have no clue if this is normal or if he should be off the bottle by now. Is he too old to still be having that many bottles a day? Or even any bottle? I have visions of him toddling off to 1st grade with a bottle in hand and that makes me feel like we've got to act on this. I have this irrational fear that he's not going to get enough calcium if I stop the bottles and make the switch to sippy cups for milk despite eating enough cheese & yogurt daily to feed his entire daycare class. I know, I know... stop over thinking this one!

He typically has a bottle mid-morning, mid-afternoon and one bottle of formula before bed. Yes, I know... I still have him on one bottle of formula a day. It somehow makes me feel better with all the germs floating around daycare. Lately, he's back to his old tricks of falling asleep during his very last bottle so I know we aren't ready to cut that one just yet.

I've tried offering milk in sippy cups but he just isn't that interested. He'll happily drink his water from a sippy but one taste of milk and he pretty much tosses it aside in disgust. I've already gone through 3 different sippy cups today in an attempt to make the switch. He wasn't into the squishy spout, the hard spout or the straw. What gives?!

Anyone got any great advice that I should be following? Cold turkey? What about our bedtime routine that we worked so hard to establish many moons ago?

Yay ME!

It was tough and I wanted to bail many times but I pushed through and ran 8km tonight! I am so proud of myself!

Made to Measure

I weighed myself this morning. Obviously. Duh. And... I'd gained. I was 139.4lbs so I clearly enjoyed myself this weekend. Anyway, nothing much I can do except push ahead and continue with the water, diet and exercise thing.

I mapped myself a 6km route tonight and decided to push myself as I went. Instead of cutting down this street, I went down that street and added extra bits of distance here and there. I ended up running a whopping 7.5km! I'm so pleased with myself!

Seeing as I know I'm losing pudge (the back fat is disappearing) despite the numbers, I decided to take my measurements tonight. Thanks to D's help, here they are:

Bust: 36"

Chest: 32"

Waist: 33 1/2"

Hips: 38 1/2"

Thighs: 22 1/2"

Upper Arm: 11 1/2"

Seriously?! I really am built like a pop can. A lovely (ahem) woman once told me I had the shape of a pop can. A barrel, if you will. I have next to no natural waist and I'm top heavy. Thank God for my chicken legs and tiny head or I'm sure I'd look like a massive blob.

I'm not going to become a slave to the tape because let's face it, I'm swamped as it is between real life and my scale BUT I do think it will be interesting to check in on these measurements now and then. The only ones I really care about are my waist, hips and upper arms. I can deal with the rest!

Weight as of June 11

Until recently, I never owned a scale. I refused to own one because I knew my OCD tendencies would flourish. I was right. I used to use the scale on my Wii until I finally purchased a proper scale for the house. Bad idea. Whereas I had to set up my Wii and go through the whole awkward "it's been X days since your last visit" lecture, I can now weigh myself whenever I want. And, of course, I'm doing just that. I obsessively step on the scale every.freaking.morning and then lament about how the numbers aren't plummeting like a wayward elevator.

Regardless, a loss is a loss, right?!

138.2lbs

I was 139.6lbs last Friday so that means I've lost 1.4lbs. Woohoo! Not as much as I was hoping but at least I'm shedding some of the weight.

I increased my exercise this week by doing a quick 2km jog with the stroller to M's daycare in the mornings as well as my regular run every other evening. I've increased the distance of my evening runs and I'm consistently hitting between 5-5.5km. I'm hoping to see a bigger loss next Friday.

Or tomorrow... or Sunday... or Monday. I really need D to hide the scale.

Whoa! Hold Up!

When I started this blog, I cleverly set my byline as "random musing & rants of a girl who is attempting to do and have it all while raising her little person" as it pretty much summed up my new role as mother, wife/partner and working girl. This week, the whole "do and have it all" train pretty much came off the tracks and I melted down in a freak out of epic proportions.

Wednesday started out as any other typical morning. Alarm goes off at 5:15am and it's go go go from that point onwards. Shower & dress myself, dress & feed baby, prepare breakfasts & lunches and pack stuff for the day. Typical & predictable. Heading out the door, we see the car about to be ticketed because our street parking permit has expired. I tell the parking officer I've got the new one inside and jet back in to grab it. He drives off in good faith and I am reduced to tears inside the house once I finally find the paperwork and realize that I hadn't renewed our permits. I simply forgot to do it and shuffled the paperwork off into a little pile never to be looked at again... until it was too late.

D & I walk back outside and as D prepares to get in the car and I to start my jog to daycare with M in the jogging stroller, I basically start rambling on and on about how I'm overwhelmed, stressed, unorganized and feeling completely inadequate. I dramatically say how I'm late for work already and push off with the stroller. To add insult to injury, the rain started pouring as I cried & ran my way to daycare. Not only did I show up to work in my (as of late) uniform of Spandex but I looked like a drowned rat who borrowed make-up tips from a raccoon to boot.

That day, I realized that I cannot do this 100% by myself. I need help and whether that help comes from D, our parents or even an outside source like a cleaning service, it doesn't matter. I need help and I need to get past my passive-aggressive nature and ask for it. I am good at nagging and bitching but not so good at being direct and asking for help. There are not enough hours in the day and I can't do it all by myself. Between keeping a clean house, preparing meals, entertaining a toddler and finding 'me time' for both D & I as well as time for each other, I'm absolutely beat and discouraged. I'm crawling into bed at 8:30pm most nights out of sheer exhaustion.

D and I had a good chat last night and I think we both said a lot of things that we need to have the other do as well as recognized how we need to change ourselves. I think we both left the house this morning feeling happier than we have in a long time. We worked together this morning and didn't snap at each other once. We have a plan in place for mornings now and that feels like a zillion pounds of weight off my back. I like knowing we'll have good 'give and take' that works for both of us and gives us each some time to ourselves in the evening to pursue the things like biking or running that we want to do this summer. We also know what we need to do to keep each other happy.

So, we're moving in the right direction. Baby steps! The train may not be going full steam ahead but at least it's moving.

5km! Woohoo!

Inspired by my best friend, I challenged myself to a 5km run tonight. I thought about it all day and was mentally psyched to get out there and do it. I was committed and engaged!

And I did it!

In fact, I ran 5.25km in 35 minutes. My mantra was 'slow & steady wins the race' and I wasn't out there for time. I was out there for distance. Regardless, 7 minutes per km isn't bad and is a great starting point. I had to encourage myself along with lots of "you can do it" when I felt like I was faltering a bit and reminded myself of "skinny, skinny, skinny" when I needed to keep the pace.

I am thrilled! It was my first time running 5km since the spring or summer before we found out I was expecting (summer of 2008) so it's been a long time coming. I feel great and I'm pumped to keep it up!

Yay me!

Clearly, I suck.

I failed at my new healthy way of life today. Miserably. Tomorrow is another day, right?

*Definitely not going near the scale tomorrow morning.

Darts & Laurels

Dart:

Stupid & annoying neighbour. Since going back to work, I have been fortunate enough to miss most of his impromptu jam sessions throughout the day, which tend to coincide with M's naps. Well, my poor exhausted baby has been woken twice (so far) during his afternoon nap by bad music & lack of talent. I am thisclose to knocking on the door and asking him to quit it. Sadly, neighbour P is partially deaf so between that and the drumming, he won't hear the doorbell. Sigh.

Laurel:

My best friend & I got together this morning for a run. It was great! We both increased our distance and settled into a good pace together. We didn't need any breaks and managed to have good conversation the entire time. Yay! I've always said I love running alone but I remembered this morning that I also love the push & motivation you get when working out with someone. I'm hoping we can make this a weekly habit! Shout out to my BFF Jilly!

Wonder Bread Arms

After almost 2 weeks of eating well, drinking lots of water and running every other day, I finally weighed myself. I don't know what I was expecting. Well, I do. I was expecting and hoping to see a number like 135lbs staring back at me.
Sigh.

139.6lbs

Ugh. Apparently I was much heavier than I initially thought. It's just so discouraging.

I know I am losing because my clothes have been fitting better and I feel it. I feel less bloated and more trim. D even commented that I looked like I'd lost some pudge, too! But, this number means I've got a lot of hard work ahead of me. Ideally, I'd like to be 128lbs but I'll settle for 130lbs.

10lbs to go. I've got to step up the exercise and stay diligent with the diet. I need to add some other exercises to my regime because running alone isn't going to flatten that tummy or trim those Wonder Bread arms.