Childcare + Hormones = Meltdown of Epic Proportions

I basically lost the plot today. I panicked and then pitched a massive fit. My poor dad had to attempt to decipher what I was saying in between sobs & random thoughts.

We're trying to navigate this whole childcare thing and it is simply so overwhelming! We've met two potential nannies so far and are definitely interested in pursuing a relationship with the first. However, we've been confronted with cost negotiations that would normally be straightforward except we've been asked to essentially take on the role of formal employer. You know, the sort of employer that deducts taxes, pays GST and issues a T4 at the end of each year. Yikes. This is something we never considered and to be honest, something I don't think either of us are prepared to do. It's also the sort of thing that greatly impacts the old bank account because of the whole gross/net thing.

When it comes to hiring a caregiver, there are 3 potential scenarios:

1. We become the employer, business number & all, and handle everything from that standpoint.

2. The caregiver establishes a business whereby she receives her salary, issues a receipt and files taxes, etc. as necessary.

3. We agree to work under the table with the caregiver whereby we can't claim the loss against our taxes and she is not making contributions or paying taxes.

Sigh.

I've had a thousand different scenarios swirling around my head all week. I've been researching everything nonstop and placing calls for experienced advice. I know I owe L a call or email and am planning on doing that this evening. We aren't ruling her out but I know we're just at the beginning of lots of talks.

Anyway, I was at M's library class today when I overheard people talking about daycare wait lists and that's when it hit me that I have NO back up plan. I truly don't. We're lucky in the sense that we know we have this one great person and that if push comes to shove, we can go above & beyond our budget to have her care for M. But what if all talks fall apart and we're left scrambling?!

I have M on about 8-10 daycare wait lists (including one I just added today) but nobody can give me an sort of indication if they'll have a spot come April. I've registered us with various home care agencies in the hopes of finding a place that way but again, no guarantees. When I call to check M's status, I don't get anywhere. They won't tell me how many names are ahead or how many spots they may or may not have open. The all seem to say the same thing, which is that I'll get a call maybe 2-3 weeks before our date and even then, they may not be able to take him until AFTER I've started back at work. How on earth do we handle a transition period?!

It's all so frustrating, confusing & overwhelming. I've officially set my start date back at work (April 26th) and I would love to start the whole nanny OR daycare transition at the beginning of that month. I hate not knowing who will be caring for my most prized possession! I know that our families will help us, if needed, but I just want to know what's happening long before I'm due back. Everyone always says to secure your daycare spot early, even when you're still pregnant, but we're walking proof that isn't always the case.