It's truly amazing how a woman's life changes the minute she pees on a stick and sees the big fat positive.
From that day forward, I obsessed about the health and well being of our baby. I have never eaten so well in my life or taken better care of myself. I was so aware of everything that went into my body and at the end of the day, I'd wonder if I did the fruit or veggie food group justice. I made sure I got lots of rest, oiled my tummy religiously, cut out alcohol & scaled back on caffeine. It was easy because I had the best reason ever to do so.
Fast forward to April 9th, 2009 when our little guy made his big appearance. He was a tiny baby at only 5lbs 15oz and with his birth, a whole new world of obsessions opened up. I obsessed about everything from feeding to pooping to sleeping. As he closes in on 9 months, I'm pretty pleased with how he's turned out. I still stress about things like how I don't really have him on a firm schedule yet or wondering if he's getting all the nutrients he needs now that he's eating more solids. But, all in all, he couldn't be more perfect.
Where am I going with all of this? Well...
M has been my sole focus for ages. I had 38 weeks & 2 days to make changes and get used to the idea of being Mum. I've had 9 months to continue implementing changes and adapting to my new life as a Mum. I've let things fall by the wayside and have no regrets. It's interesting how all that extra care you took with diet and exercise when pregnant seems to disappear the minute you bring your little one home from the hospital. It also becomes too easy to let your baby become your only focus and let relationships or friendships suffer.
I often joke that my life is like the movie 'Groundhog Day' where I live in 12 hour cycles that repeat twice daily, 7 days a week, months at a time. Sometimes I feel like I have nothing to talk about that doesn't involve a baby, belly or budget. Don't get me wrong because I absolutely love my life and the daily mundane it sometimes brings.
However, it doesn't mean I don't miss certain things from my not-so-distant pass. I miss the pick up & go at times. I miss not being able to pop out for a pint & bite with D whenever the mood hit us. I miss going out for drinks with co-workers & friends after work. I miss working and having another purpose. See, when you become a Mum, many of these things vanish into thin air. Friends stop calling after the initial cuteness wears off because they sense you're likely too busy to chat or pop out. I know I stopped calling people simply because I didn't think they'd want to hear about my "boring" day when they still had all the fun & pressure of work and a social life.
I can count on one hand the amount of times I've missed putting M to bed at night and for that, I have no regrets. I have no regrets about putting my family first on weekends when D is home and making sure that we have good quality time together. I have no regrets about the sacrifices I've made and will happily go without if it means M has every need met. I have no regrets giving up things because let's face it, my life isn't over... it's just beginning.
I think all mamas can relate to this feeling. I'm happy and with no regrets but damn, I'd love a day or night off to go out with girlfriends, have a few drinks, stay out late and sleep in the next day.
No comments:
Post a Comment