NYE 2011

I guess this is when I'm supposed sum up the last year and make grand sweeping resolutions about the one to come? Um.

I'm really not feeling very reflective lately. If anything, I've been dragging this nagging defeated feeling around with me for a little bit now and I'm trying to get over it. I simply feel defeated. Lots of successes but lots of things that I wouldn't call failures but more or less speed bumps in the day to day. Maybe this is my thing? I know I felt this way last year around this time, too.

2011 was a good year. It was a sad year, too. It was challenging and trying at times, too. But, it was damn rewarding. Achievements all around for my little family with D, M & I exceeding milestones & goals. Things happened that will stay with us forever and that's okay. Sad but okay. We learn from them, right? We change our ways & behaviour and when we say we'll do it differently, we do our best to do it.

What's on the horizon for 2012? Lots. I'm not a fortune teller and I've never seen a psychic but I'm pretty sure it's going to be a good good year. I'm rapidly approaching my 35th birthday and some big professional bests at work. D & I will celebrate our 2nd anniversary (yes, do the math... SINNERS!) and I'm sure that anniversary will come with a weekend in NYC. We'll continue to watch with amazement as M grows into this little boy before our eyes and soon enough, we'll be singing at his 3rd birthday. All of that and that only gets us to April! See? Big things, people, big things. I'd say it's really just the beginning of the good stuff...

Beer & Cheddar Fondue

This is the recipe I followed (well, omitted caraway seeds & cut back on the sherry by 1 tbsp.) for our Christmas Eve fondue. I've been searching for a versatile recipe that we can hopefully rely on year after year for this little tradition of ours and so far, this one is a keeper.

Beer & Cheddar Fondue

1 tbsp. unsalted butter

1/2 small yellow onion, minced (about 1/3 cup)

1 large clove garlic, minced

12 oz. Emmentaler cheese, coarsely grated (about 3 lightly packed cups)

8 oz. extra sharp white Cheddar, coarsely grated (about 2 lightly packed cups)

4 oz. Gruyere, coarsely grated (about 1 lightly packed cup)

2 tbsp. cornstarch

1 tsp. dry mustard

1/2 tsp. freshly ground black pepper

1 12-oz. can lager-style beer (preferably Budweiser according to Fine Cooking)

2 tbsp. Amontillado sherry (I used whatever I had on hand)

Kosher salt

Melt the butter in a 2-qt flameproof fondue pot or a heavy saucepan over medium-low heat. Add the onion and garlic and cook, stirring occasionally, until completely soft and beginning to caramelize (about 15-20 minutes).

Meanwhile, in a large bowl, toss the Emmentaler, Cheddar and Gruyere with the cornstarch, mustard and pepper.

Add the beer & increase the heat to high and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat to medium low and simmer to mellow the flavour of the beer (about 3 minutes).

Sprinkle the cheese mixture into the pot a large handful at a time, stirring each batch in a back & forth pattern so the cheese doesn't ball up as it melts. Continue adding and stirring until all of the cheese is melted, smooth & thick. Adjust the heat as necessary to maintain barely a simmer. Stir in the sherry and season with salt. If using a saucepan, transfer the fondue to a fondue pot and set the pot over a low flame to keep warm.

Dipping Ingredients: Cubes of tenderloin, shrimp, grilled sausage slices, ciabatta bread cubes, apple slices, steamed carrots, broccoli & asparagus, gherkins.

Beer & Cheddar Fondue, Fine Cooking #82, back cover. December 1, 2006.

Memories

Know that feeling of remembering something that you were likely too young to really remember when it happened? Like, you talk about or do something with your little one and sort of suddenly remember it happening to you as a child?

When I was growing up, we used to visit my nan every Saturday night in Toronto. My aunts and their families all lived close to her so it was pretty much a family affair every week. We'd make the 45 minute drive for dinner & a visit and before we'd leave, my parents would get me (my brother was 7 years older) into my pajamas and we'd head for home. Inevitably, I'd fall asleep in the car and my mum or dad would have to unbuckle me & carry me upstairs to bed. I feel like this is something I *shouldn't* be able to remember because I was likely so young and it was so long ago. It's like I'm just creating those memories in my head because I know it actually happened and have heard the stories from my parents. Regardless, it's a sweet memory and I'm holding on to it.

Following dinner at my parent's house tonight, we got M into his jammies and ready to go. It was well past his bedtime by the time we started our 45 minute drive and by the time we got home, he was still awake but so tired. I scooped him out of his car seat and carried him inside. He chose the toys he'd like to take to bed (James & Salty from the Thomas series) and we walked upstairs. He was asleep within minutes and as I type this, I can hear his little breaths through the monitor. I had such a warm feeling the entire time and it was like I had one of those "I am my mum or dad" moments. It was a really nice, envelope yourself in warmth & love sort of feelings. It's sort of like things have come full circle.

All in all, a fabulous day with family. By the end of this evening, my Christmas spirit was restored -- the frustrating attempts to find the perfect gift for hard to buy for people and the general madness at work that has overshadowed decorating & prepping and everything else that fought my spirit were gone. Today, it was just about being with family and having fun. I feel like I soaked it all in and really enjoyed everything about it... laughs, food and yes, the gifts.

Today was a lovely little day and one that I will carry with me. I know it happened because I was there... and I'll remind M of the times we used to carry him out of the car and straight to bed when he's doing the same with his little ones.

Getting there!

It's amazing what some good food, drink, sleep & gifts can do for the ol' Christmas spirit. I think we're all in better moods today and looking forward to a big meal with family.

M was a bit freaked out by all the gifts that appeared under the tree while he slept and didn't want to come downstairs! He got over it and is now running from toy to toy like a nut. Sensory overload at its finest! D & I spoiled each other despite the usual no gifts (or nothing crazy) thing. Hello Bond No. 9 perfume that I have been coveting since we were last in NYC!

Wishing everyone & their families a very merry Christmas! Today is going to be a good day.

Seriously?

It's December 24th and I don't think there is a single ounce of Christmas spirit flowing through my veins. I'm really trying because I want this to be a really special year for D & M. It's our first Christmas without D's mom and it's also one of the first year that M is starting to get the whole idea of Santa, presents & all that good commercialism that comes with the holidays.

Things are just... I don't know... blah. I'm tired, cranky and just not into it. Perfect timing, PMS, perfect timing. Just abso-fucking-lutely perfect.

The house is filling with the sweet cinnamon-y smell of granola with almonds & pecans and later on, we'll be dragging bread & steak through cheesy fondue. Wine will be flowing and we'll go to bed with our bellies full only to wake up to presents, French toast & bacon and later, the best Christmas meal you'll ever have (thanks Mum!). Until then, I'll paste a smile on my face and stuff myself silly with delicious food & wine.

Oh and this song will be running on repeat in my head...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-58-36lSqG4

Merry Christmas Eve!

Bah Humbug.

Pretty sure I posted a similar title and post last year (and the year before and and and). Yeah, I have next to no Christmas spirit this year. I'm swamped at work and barely swimming and meanwhile, I'm mentally checking out. I'm tired, drained and quite simply, my brain just can't put it together. I got an email tonight from a consultant around 10pm and I think I said "huh?" 43 times while reading it. I just couldn't compute and will have to deal with it in the morning. Meanwhile, my consultants are obviously busting their butts to meet a January deadline (obvious by the late email) and my faculties are MIA so I can't even register what's a question or a statement.

I'm not done my Christmas shopping and feel unprepared this year. I didn't really have many to buy for but those on my list are damn difficult to please. I have a few last minute things to pick up and hopefully I can square that away tomorrow. It's my thing to refuse to shop on Christmas Eve.

Our fridge is EMPTY save for ground flax, maple syrup, cherry tomatoes, carrots and one lone hunk of gouda. Oh and a whole lot of condiments that are probably close to walking out on their own. Needless to say, I need to meal plan & shop in a bad way.

I just found out that I have to bring dessert to a relatively last minute Boxing Day function. Give me savoury any day and I will cook my little heart out. I only really tolerate baking now and do it as a means to the muffin... and the odd time I'll bake a loaf or cookies. The thought of baking dessert is horrifying to me and I just don't want to do it. I don't want to plan it, shop for it or bake it. Can't I just bring green beans?!

Anyway, I feel like time is flying and I'm just sort of skimming through my days and weeks and months. I don't feel grounded with my family so I'm looking forward to some good times with my boys (and my golden girl) over the holidays. A few days at home are sure to do me good.

One Month & 2 Days

Exactly how long I've been MIA and apparently, I've been missed (aw, thanks friends). Well, what have I been doing all this time?

Renovations, work, festivities, work, shopping, work... that pretty much sums it up. All these "things" got ahead of me and we've all been go go go lately. It's been hard to find a few minutes to blog because when I have had down time, I want to sit on the couch (and eat).

We refinished our floors, had the house painted, bought all new furniture for our living & dining areas and we're now trying to get our heads above water since realizing that Christmas is a mere 10 days away.

I'm cheating tonight with a little "I'm still alive" and will be back soon to do a longer, more thoughtful post. Soon. Promise.

Meal Plan for the Week of November 14th

This week is one of using up what's in the pantry & freezer as well as trying a few new recipes.

Grilled pork tenderloin with veggies & rice (boring)

Penne w/ spinach, gorgonzola & walnuts (new recipe)

Pressed brie, turkey & pear sandwiches w/ thyme & grainy mustard (new recipe)

White chili (old recipe but using chicken instead of turkey this time around)

Linguini w/ meat sauce (boring but I've got the sauce in the freezer)

Risotto with salad

Of course, I will just sniff the dishes instead of eating them. You know, weight loss mission and all...

Sunday Randomness

I had my yearly physical last Thursday and the doctor was so kind to notice that I've gained 14lbs since my appointment just one year ago.

14 fucking lbs!!! Insane.

Now, this isn't my regular doctor as she is on mat leave so I get that she's obviously not used to my yo-yo ways. She flipped through my file and noted that on a year to year basis, my weight fluctuates anywhere from 5 to 10lbs or more. This is by far my biggest spread. Literally. She gently suggested I lose weigh and get to a reasonable size that I can maintain. How novel!

So, once again, I'm back to obsessing about what I eat... even more so than I do already but maybe now I'll obsess about eating a bit less rather than attempting a Guinness record for how much buttery popcorn I can shove in my mouth at once.

Tomorrow. I'll start tomorrow.

Tonight's dinner? Filet mignon with garlicky gorgonzola butter, grilled white asparagus & beets, orzo with parmesan & basil and Caesar salad.

8km!!!

2/3

We're only a week in and I've already completed 2 of my 3 goals for November. I packed up the car yesterday and made the trip to my parent's house to store a number of items. While there, my dad helped me install M's car seat FF. It is a BIZARRE feeling to have him sitting FF and I'll own up to being on edge while driving back home on the highway yesterday. I really need to get over it.

I've set a new mini goal for this week and I'm hoping to go for 5 runs in 5 days. Distance and time doesn't matter but it's just about getting out for a run. Tonight's run was a quick 5km. I'm prepping tomorrow's dinner right now so I can hopefully get out right after work.

3 in 30 in November

I'm aiming for no repeats with my challenges this month so here goes!

1. Buy 5 Christmas presents. Doesn't matter who they're for as long as they're bought. We don't have many to buy for but I'd like to feel ahead of the game this year.
2. Pack up the car and take a drive to the storage unit (read: my parent's basement). We're getting our floors refinished so anything with wheels has got to go. Poor M! His beloved MINI car will be getting parked for the season.
3. Turn M's car seat forward facing.

The third one will be tough for me but it's time. He's almost 40lbs (which is the RFing max for his car seat) and... well, it's time. Sigh. I really REALLY wanted to last until he was 3 and there is a *small* part of me that is tempted to buy a new seat that we could RF until he was heavier but to compromise, we agreed to FF but in the middle of the backseat instead of behind the passenger (or driver).

So, that's it for November. I've got 27 days to get my act together.

October Wrap-Up!

Remember October's 3 in 30? Well, I didn't do that well when it came to 2 of the 3. I barely ran and I certain didn't clean the car. However, I did manage to have a very successful spend little to zero month! I think I only bought lunch once last month and if I spent anything on coffee or tea, I certainly don't remember. I definitely noticed a difference in our bank account. There was something very satisfying about this challenge and I'm going to keep it up for November. Don't they say that if you do something for 90 days, it becomes routine? We'll see!

We Haz the Sick. Oy Vey.

M is sick. Touch wood, just a cold but still sick. Boo. And not a good Hallowe'en-y scary sort of boo because we're having a little Hallowe'en party this Saturday and I want him to be well. You know, germ(less) around all the other kiddos.

BUT... the silver lining? This time last year (going by the school year), M was on his 3rd case of strep in 2 months. Thank God for no strep.

Tickle, tickle. Scratch, scratch. Fingers & toes crossed M doesn't share his sick with us... or my parents who are coming down tomorrow.

Ketchup!

Last week was my first 100% 5-day spend $0 week. Woohoo! I haven't bought a tea, coffee or lunch in over 3 weeks and I'm happy to say that I am noticing a difference (in the bank account, not the waistline).

Runs? Zero. Blah.

Random...

Watching Hoarders makes me want to purge our house. Badly. It makes me want to get organized and STAY organized. How is it possible that we have so much stuff? And why is it so hard to get rid of stuff? I'm pretty good with moving past the whole 'might need it one day' thing and getting rid of it -- recycling it, throwing it out, donating, etc. Yet, I don't feel like we ever make decent progress. I'm convinced the only way to truly purge & organize is to move. Moving isn't an option (sorry, D, no starter home in Forest Hill just yet) so I guess we just have to put our heads down and be ruthless.

I'm obsessed with making lasagne. I made my first one (veggies only) a few weeks ago and yesterday, I whipped up a traditional meaty lasagne with a veggie twist (a grated carrot, zucchini & mushroom layer).

I've never been a big fan of Hallowe'en. I don't do costumes and I wouldn't say I love handing out candy to kids that are too old & not wearing costumes. D is convinced our house will be covered with egg & toilet paper one day from my cunning questioning of said kids. That said, I'm excited this year because we will be taking M trick or treating for the first time. We'll go to 3 or 4 houses and he will love it. I'll enlist his help to hand out candy, too. We're also doing a little Hallowe'en party for M & his friends next Saturday so I'm pretty excited to see our friends and let the kids play, costumes & all.

So, yeah... that's my update. Off I go to find 10 things to donate & 10 things to toss. Obsessed!

Bran Flax Muffins

Okay, don't be deterred because of the title! These muffins are super moist & delicious and ridiculous healthy. We're talking fibre overload! I've adapted the recipe from Bob's Red Mill to better suit our needs.

Bran Flax Muffins

1 cup whole wheat flour

1 cup white or spelt flour

3/4 cup flaxseed meal

3/4 cup oat bran (the cereal works fine)

1 cup brown sugar

2 tsp baking soda

1 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

2 tsp cinnamon

1 1/2 cups fined shredded carrot (about 2 big or 3 medium)

2 peeled & shredded apples

1/2 cup raisins (optional)

1 cup chopped nuts (optional)

3/4 cup milk

2 beaten eggs

1 tsp vanilla

*Notice the lack of butter or oil? Yay! I'd like to see if I can get away with less sugar next batch, too.

Mix together flour, flaxseed meal, oat bran, brown sugar, baking soda, baking powder, salt and cinnamon in a large bowl. Stir in carrots, apples, raisins (if desired) and nuts (if using).

Combine milk, beaten eggs and vanilla.

Pour liquid ingredients into dry ingredients. Stir until ingredients are moistened being careful to not over mix.

Fill muffin cups 3/4 full and bake at 350 for 15-20 minutes (I find they usually need 20+ but watch carefully). Makes about 18 muffins.

2 Down!

Add another 8km run to the pile! Well, pile of 2. I don't know but I'd venture a good guess that a co-worker asking if I was pregnant (I'm not) was a pretty amazing kick in the ass to get back out there.

Um, I also weighed myself this morning. 143lbs. HOLY SHIT!

Mashed Potato Soup

A few years back, we had a big New Year's Eve dinner party and I was left with a massive portion of leftover mashed potatoes. I googled my options the next day and found a recipe for mashed potato soup by Rachel Ray. I can't stand Rachel Ray but have to admit that her recipe was pretty good. I've tweaked it to suit our needs now and end up making this dinner at least once or twice each fall or winter season. It's easy to make extra mashed potatoes and set some aside for this meal.

Mashed Potato Soup

6-8 slices of bacon

1 small onion, diced

1 carrot, diced

2 tbsp. butter

2 tbsp. flour

4 cups chicken stock

3-4 cups mashed potatoes

1 cup grated cheddar

In dutch oven or large saucepan, cook bacon until crisp. Remove with slotted spoon and set aside. Drain all but 1 tbsp. bacon grease from the pan and put back on medium-high heat. Melt the butter and add onion & carrots. Cook until soft, about 5 minutes. Using a wooden spoon, add the flour and stir constantly for one minute. Whisk in chicken stock. Let simmer for 5 minutes before whisking in mashed potatoes. Remove from heat and stir in cheddar and bacon. Serve!

*If making and freezing, I hold off on the cheese and instead add that when serving.

3 in 30... To Date!

No runs and only 2 spend $0 days this week. The 3 days that did involve spending money had nothing to do with coffee or food but rather, snowsuits & pajamas for M, birthday cards and gifts. I'm still motivated and loving the fact that I haven't dropped a dime on coffee, tea or lunch at work!

D did a quick purge of the car so it is getting there. I'm hoping to tackle it on Sunday and get it to the point where we can take it somewhere to be detailed.

I really need to get out for a run this weekend. Pretty sure all the stuffing and gravy will push me over the edge!

3 in 30 for October

Okay, here goes...

1. Get out for 10 runs. Yes, I'm attempting this one again. I kicked off the month with running 5km in the CIBC Run for the Cure and I'm determined to get out a couple times a week this month. 9 more to go!
2. Aim for a minimum of 3 $0 days each week. This means no coffee or tea, bringing my lunch and basically trying to watch what I spend. I managed to have 4 $0 days last week so hopefully I can keep it up.
3. Clean the car inside and out. We desperately need this one to be done before the snow comes! It's currently a disgusting cesspool of old food, construction site filth and garbage.

Nothing too crazy and for most people, all practical things. We are NOT most people! I'm not holding my breath on #3. Good luck to me!

September's 3 in 30

Remember this? Um, yeah. EPIC FAIL. I didn't get out for 10 runs (though I did walk 35km in the Weekend to End Women's Cancers and ran one measly 8km run) and I didn't make any headway in M's future room. I did go to Value Village and dropped off some stuff one day but it really didn't make a dent. I certainly didn't stick to $130/week for groceries. Case in point? $168 today.

I'm about to post my 3 in 30 for October and hoping for better success (read: motivation).

4 Days!

I managed to last 4 days!!!

3 Days

I successfully went 3 consecutive days without spending a dime at work. This is BIG. I made my own tea instead of buying a latte and I brought my lunch & snacks all days.

I didn't feel deprived per se but I noticed it at lunch. I almost always eat lunch at my desk so there is a big difference between popping outside for 15 minutes to grab something and reaching across your desk and pulling a Tupperware towards you. I escaped the office today and wandered Indigo. I fought temptation and resisted buying unnecessary Hallowe'en decorations. M & I will get a little crafty and make some fun decorations for our windows & doors.

My best guess is that I saved myself at least $30. It may not be a huge savings but it's definitely a start! If I can keep this up and try to have at least 3 spend nothing days a week, I'll be pleased. We likely won't notice a huge difference in our account but at least I'll feel less like we spend unnecessarily each week.

7.5km!

I psyched myself up ALL day and pushed myself out the door once D got home from work. I took a different route so I wouldn't be able to accurately determine the distance. I was pleasantly surprised that it was 7.5km but a little bit annoyed that I didn't cross the 8km mark! Regardless, it was good to get out for a run.

Must get out again this week... at least one more time before Sunday's CIBC Run for the Cure.

Meal Plan for the Week of the 25th

And in no particular order (except for tonight & tomorrow's meals), here we go!

Sunday: Roast chicken with roasted beets & carrots and mashed potatoes. Maybe a spinach salad on the side? Or maybe I want to use up the rest of the cauliflower tonight?

Monday: Roasted carrot soup with homemade savory cheese bread. Maybe some spinach salad with this one, too?

Orzo salad with grilled broccolini & sausage

Meat pies with potatoes, cauliflower & peas

Rigatoni with zucchini, spicy sausage & goat cheese

Quinoa pizza crust with pepperoni, roasted red peppers & pineapple

Heavy on the meat and carbs this week. Sigh. Still a fatty over here.

Spending Habits...

Also, I have (once again) learned that most of my/our spending is completely out of ritual. Coffee is a ritual, lunch out is a ritual, buying books for M at Indigo at lunch is a ritual... all of these little rituals are really distractions and these distractions are not always necessary. I won't say unnecessary because I simply don't believe it (yes, there are days when I absolutely NEED that latte) but I will agree we can work on them.

Budgeting 101

D & I are notoriously bad with budgeting. It's not like we live beyond our means but we definitely life life to the fullest with our means. Yes, we contribute monthly to our RRSPs and we save every penny M has ever earned in his own bank account BUT we are damn good at spending our earnings.

I'm the one who 'manages' our money. By this, I mean I stalk (yes, literally stalk) our bank account daily, freak out about overspending in certain areas and make sure bills are paid on time and all balances are favourable. Admittedly, I like it this way but there are times when I wish D wanted to know a bit more about what was going on with our finances. You know, accountability and all that fun stuff.

When I look at what we earn and all our fixed expenses, I am continually floored by where our money goes. Yes, I know I don't NEED that $5.14 latte every.single.morning but I feel like I do in that moment. I've also slacked on taking a lunch, which means eating out (costly AND unhealthy). We tend to eat out a fair bit on weekends and with that means having a drink or two. It all adds up, right? D & I both have indulgences where we can scale back so we're working on those.

Earlier tonight, my friend told me about Mint, which is a free online program that brings all your financial accounts together in one place, categorizes transactions and sets budgets. It's safe, fun (no, really, it's fun!) and FREE. Did I mention it's free? It's so much better than a crappy Excel spreadsheet because it is live and updates every time you sign in. I set everything up tonight and I *think* I've got all our fixed expenses listed. Mint was kind enough to immediately tell me where we've spent too much money this month -- alcohol & bars (oops!), clothing (it's all for M, I swear... and he needs it... change in seasons and all) and groceries (um, yeah... no surprise).

I'm curious to see how this program works for us over the month of October and if it actually pushes us to watch our spending. By our, I mean, me. D & I have set some mini financial goals for the winter -- things we want to accomplish or do around the house -- and at some point, we need a swift kick in the butts to get on the saving train. I'm excited to use this program and look forward to updating at the end of October!

2 and a Half

We met with our SLP last Friday for a reassessment of M's speech & language to date. After almost two hours of interactive play, learning games and some subtle note taking for good measure, she looked at me with a HUGE smile on her face and said she was thrilled to tell me that M no longer even qualifies for speech therapy! She was so happy with his progress and noted that he was surpassing most of the language milestones for the 36-42 month range (M is currently 30 months).

We are so pleased with our little guy! Patience, modeling and working together constantly has paid off. Yes, I became that mum that I always vowed I wouldn't be... you know, the one saying "grEEn PePPer" at the grocery store while pointing to my mouth and repeating said word over and over. The Hanen course I was invited to participate in turned out to be invaluable because we finally figured out how M needed to learn from us. He chats constantly and we are finally having those "for the love of God, be quiet!" moments that people warned us about. It's worth it though. So so so worth it.

She wants to reassess M again in 6 months to make sure he's still progressing. She took note of some pronunciations that are typically developmental (th as d, etc.) and wants to make sure he outgrows them. If he needs therapy again, we're on their radar and will never have an issue being seen again. Phew.

The best thing about M's speech therapy is that it was almost like a parenting book all wrapped up in a fun little package. We learned so many obvious things that we'd been skipping over in our attempts to get him to communicate more and ended up learning that those same things that taught M sounds and words would also diffuse tantrums, distract from tears and get him to WANT to chat with us more.

Best ever.

Weekend Update

Despite a few little hiccups, I think we (I) managed to put together a weekend that was all about us and what we (I) wanted to do.

We left our neighbourhood and ventured to the Evergreen Brick Works on Saturday morning. We grabbed coffees & cookies, wandered the trails and cruised the Farmer's Market. This place is amazing and hands down one of the best places in the city. We had a visit from friends later and spent the late afternoon/evening walking around our 'hood.

On Sunday morning, we met up with friends at the Danforth East Arts Festival and enjoyed brunch on a patio before coming home for the afternoon. M & I both spent the afternoon napping while D went out with his dad and ran a few errands.

We ate out minimally this weekend (a rarity for us) and I managed to get ahead with meal preparation for the week. White chili, shepherd's pie, beef stew... we'll have a few meals ready to go when we get home from work. Phew.

All in all, it was a great weekend. Once again, I didn't accomplish too much around the house but we did things that were out of our routine and we did them together. Moods were good and everyone was happy. We needed it.

Weekends

A few months ago, a very wise friend gave my best friend some sage advice when she was trying to navigate a slippery in-law issue. The gist is that a person can only manage their issues and not someone else's issues or tendencies. This advice has finally come in handy for me.

D's dad has become increasingly dependent on us since his mom passed way. I get it. I really do. He's still mourning and he's lonely. He is surrounded by people all day long but immediately goes home to an empty house. A dog awaits him but it is just not the same. Sad. Weekends must feel incredibly long to him and he does his best to fill his Saturdays and Sundays with trips to places he loves, photography, visits to friends and of course, trips to the city to visit us.

I selfishly no longer think of these as enjoyable visits because I find them taxing and costly -- emotionally and financially. I like to make a good meal for him and if I have the time, send him home with some fresh muffins. I like knowing that he's just enjoyed a visit with his grandson and that together they're making great memories. I like knowing that he takes comfort in these visits and that they break up his otherwise long weekends.

But...

I miss OUR weekends. I miss being able to make plans to do whatever we like whenever we like. I miss being able to nap when M naps without knowing I'll be waking up to someone else in the house. I miss having lazy meals and not feeling like I have to put together something decent. I miss having the time.

Weekends are so short as it is and I like to cherish them. I am a creature of habit and in turn, we have become a little family of habitual creatures. We walk for coffee every weekend morning and on Sundays, oh so glorious Sundays, M & I watch Coronation Street before I disappear to the grocery store to shop in peace. I feel like everything is upside down because we're no longer just working around a toddler's nap schedule or a dog's walks but a whole other body. Someone who needs US to entertain HIM. My habits are all over the place and lately, it's made me bitter & frustrated.

Cue the advice! My friend reminded me that my FIL is no longer a guest in our home but really, he's a fixture. Yes, I can do 'special' things now and then but for now, I need to just manage and get by. If that means tuna melts for dinner instead of tenderloin and all the fixings, well, so be it. If it means ordering a pizza and sitting on the couch to eat, that's okay, too. I can't manage his neediness because let's face it, he needs us and we appreciate that but what I can do, is manage how I deal with it. We need to work around it and drag him along with our little rituals.

I can do it. I have to suck it up because this just isn't about me. Not going to lie and say I'm still okay with it but I'm going to manage it better. I'm not proud of how I acted last weekend but I couldn't help it. I'm sure this weekend will be better.

Better be because I only have two precious days off.

New Kicks!

After what feels like ages, I finally treated myself to new running shoes! My history as of late has been less than stellar but at least I can say my sneakers got out at least twice a week for bootcamp. My current shoes, Nike Vomero (for those who wonder what others like to run in like I do), were packing out and basically in need of replacement. I figure I put on at least 250kms on these puppies even though they say you can typically go 350-500kms in a pair before you need to replace. After trying on every.single.pair at the Running Room, I settled on the Saucony Progrid Ride 3 shoe. Hoping to test drive them tomorrow!

3 in 30

I've been slacking on setting challenges & goals for myself and I need to get back at it. So, 3 goals in 30 days. New monthly mantra perhaps?

What do I hope to accomplish this September?

1. I have 30 days to get out for 10 runs. Time & distance don't matter. What matters is that my feet are pounding the pavement and I'm doing something for me.


2. I need to make significant progress in M's future 'big boy' room. If I can finally deal with the closet, order the custom book shelves and perhaps, just maybe, settle on a paint colour, I'll be pleased.


3. Our grocery bills as of late have gotten out of control... again. I want to meal plan and think head in the hopes of not exceeding $130/week.

Seems easy & manageable? Hope so. Celebrate small successes and all that good stuff, I supposed.

Peanut Butter Squares

"A perfect balance" said D as he referred to the peanut butter to chocolate ratio. In other words, a raving review straight from a very picky (and often skeptical) PB & chocolate connoisseur.

I love peanut butter. I was late to the whole PB world because we never really discovered it in my family until my brother was in high school (and he is 7 years my senior) because being British, peanut butter just wasn't big with them. Branston pickle, yes... peanut butter, no. In my adulthood, I have made up for lost time. I love PB cookies, treats, toast with PB & honey, celery with PB... anything really. Mmm... I digress.

It's my turn to bring Friday breakfast to the office tomorrow. Admittedly, I forgot about it until last night and being too tired to really plan anything, I decided to pull together a very European breakfast -- meats, cheeses, spreads, crisps & baguette. Easy, right? Yep! But I needed a sweet because who doesn't love a sweet for breakfast? The easiest, quickest & tastiest thing I could think of (and PB really screams out breakfast, no?) were these squares. This recipe kicks it old school big time!

Peanut Butter Squares

3/4 cup unsalted butter, divided, plus a little more to butter the dish

1 3/4 cups icing sugar

1 cup creamy peanut butter

3/4 cup graham cracker crumbs

1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

Line an 8x8 pan with foil, leaving enough foil overhanging the sides to use as "handles" later. Butter the bottom & sides of the lined pan and set aside.

In a medium saucepan, melt 1/2 cup of butter over low heat. Once melted, remove from heat and stir in powdered sugar until smooth. Stir in the peanut butter and graham cracker crumbs. Continue stirring until thoroughly combined and smooth. Spread the mixture into the prepared pan & use a spatula to even it out.

In the same pan, add the remaining 1/4 cup of butter. Melt over low heat. Add the chocolate chips and stir until almost completely melted. Remove from heat and continue stirring until totally melted. Pour the chocolate over the peanut butter and spread into an even layer.

Chill for 30 minutes in the fridge. Using the foil to lift, transfer from the pan to the cutting board. Using a sharp knife, cut into small squares. Store in an airtight container in the fridge.

Soooooo good!!!

Garlic & Basil Pasta with Cheesy Baked Tomatoes

I had a ridiculously late night at work last night (3am... gasp!) and used my Friday afternoon to catch up on some sleep. D sent me a text around 4:15pm to say he was on his way home with M. I wanted to have dinner ready when they got here to I flew into action and threw together this meatless, fresh & simple summer dinner. This one is great for those of you with gardens!

Garlic & Basil Pasta with Cheesy Baked Tomatoes

3 tbsp. olive oil

2 cloves of garlic, minced

Pinch red pepper flakes

Paste of choice (linguine is perfect)

2-3 beefsteak tomatoes

Ball of good mozzarella

S&P

Basil & lots of it

In a small saucepan, gently warm about 3 tbsp. of olive oil. Add two cloves of garlic, minced and a good pinch of red pepper flakes. Be careful not to burn or brown the garlic.

Get your pasta of choice going in a pot of salted boiling water.

Slice 2-3 beefsteak tomatoes into thick 1/2" slices and arrange on a lightly oiled baking tray. Season with pepper and kosher salt before topping with a thick slice of good mozzarella. Place in the middle of oven and boil until bubbly & beginning to brown.

Strain your pasta and put into your serving dish. Using a strainer, pour the infused olive oil over the pasta and discard the rest. Add a few big handfuls of torn or chopped basil and toss together. Top with freshly grated or shaved parmesan.

Serve pasta topped with 2-3 tomato slices per person.

Meal Plan for the Week of August 14th

I have work commitments two nights this week so that means we need a few options that are quick & easy for D to toss in the oven or pull together when he gets home with M, who can be a mini dictator when he's hungry! This week's menu pretty much consists of meat, pasta & cheese. Um, yeah. Not the healthiest but I need things that are quick on the fly this week.

Grilled chicken breasts w/ a chickpea & pepper salad

Homemade mac 'n cheese with chedder, smoked gouda & gruyere & a panko crust w/ salad

Skewered pork tenderloin & pineapple w/an orzo & grilled vegetable salad with feta, olives & oregano

Homemade pizza w/ proscuitto, pineapple & roasted red peppers w/ salad

Basil spaghetti w/ cheesy broiled beefsteak tomatoes w/ salad

As usual, will share any recipes that are a hit but really, the only new one I'm trying is the last.

An Update on the Patient

A couple weeks back, I wrote about M's surgery to have his tonsils & adenoids removed. His recovery was quick & he was back at it within 48 hours of the surgery. We had to keep him home for almost 2 weeks to prevent infection but he went back to school this week.

We've noticed significant changes already. First, he no longer snores. He was a total bear before the surgery and he's SO quiet when he sleeps that I find myself checking him constantly to make sure he's okay. Second, he's having better sleeps. We've been lucky to have a kid who likes his sleep and always gives it the ol' college try but we can definitely tell that he's waking more refreshed and having better naps. Lastly, his speech is improving! We're thankful that his nasally pipsqueak voice is s-l-o-w-l-y disappearing (a side effect from the surgery) but he speaks with a much more clear voice now. We can understand him better and his parrot ways are nonstop.

Oddly enough, this post coincides with a letter we received from the SLP. We'll be getting a call shortly to schedule a reassessment and I know they're going to be thrilled. Yay! We are so excited for M.

Run Fatty RUN!

15km!

My hips are grinding worse than they did after giving birth to M and my toes feel like death BUT I did it! I ran 15km yesterday and almost died doing so! It was insanely hot and I was exhausted & sore but I talked myself through every step of the last 5km. I have bootcamp twice this week and then I'll get out for another run (albeit shorter) this weekend.

Asian Pork Skewers

D's dad was coming for dinner last night so I was scrambling to do something a bit different. We picked up a massive pork tenderloin from Rowe Farms and I promptly cubed it and tossed it in this simple but delicious marinade.

1/3 cup soy sauce

1/4 cup sesame oil

2 tbsp. Worcestershire sauce

1/8 cup packed light brown sugar

3 green onions, finely chopped

2-4 cloves of garlic, minced

1 1/2 tbsp. Asian chili paste

1 1/2 tsp. pepper

Trim your tenderloin, cube it and toss in the marinade. Marinade for a good 8 hours or so, stirring or flipping once or twice.

Thread onto soaked wooden skewers (or metal if you have 'em) and grill for 8-12 minutes turning often.

The Patient

Surgery was a success! M's tonsils & adenoids were removed and the fluid in his ears & chest was drained. It was a short procedure but a long day and there were a few things we just weren't prepared for despite reading up on what to expect.

First, I thought we'd be allowed in the room when they were putting him out. Wrong. The doctor came to talk to us and said the nurse would be coming soon to bring M into the operating room. The doctor excited M with her talk about all the Spiderman & Thomas stickers and he was sad when he left without her. When the nurse came, we walked down the hall to the doors that opened to the operating area and the anaesthesiologist told us they'd put him out using a mask before inserting the IV. He warned that small children were particularly restless when coming out of the anaesthetic but it would only last about 30 minutes to an hour. Two seconds later, the big doors opened up and M walked in with the nurse. He didn't even look back. A little part of me died and I broke down in tears.

Second, the word "restless" doesn't even come close to describing how M was as he came to after surgery. The nurse came to get me just as he started to wake and I came into recovery to find a little boy who was sobbing, screaming, coughing & hacking who was just so completely out of it. I scooped him up and he was flipping between angry rage, sobbing fits & limp exhaustion all while coughing up blood & mucous on my shoulders. Hard.

Third, after what seemed like eternity of the "restless" phase, the nurses decided M needed a bit of morphine because he was just so far gone and he was beyond the point of calming. Just when it seemed like he might be calming down, cue the nurse noticing a pile of blood on the floor behind me. They quickly realized it wasn't from his mouth but rather, his IV came out during his struggles with himself. Six nurses later, the IV was back in and another dose of morphine & Gravol was administered.

Lastly, after all of the above, I honestly didn't expect recovery to be so slow. I wrongly expected our little guy to be full of smiles as he came out of surgery but he wasn't. It took him a good few hours to be at all complacent and even then, everything was a struggle. He felt so horrible that he didn't want a single sip of water or a popsicle and of course, we weren't allowed to leave until he'd started drinking. The nurses had to give him yet another dose of morphine and only then did he turn a corner and want to eat popsicles. 5 or 6 white grape popsicles later, we were given the all clear to head home.

We came home and M was starving. He was begging for Goldfish crackers, which he obviously couldn't have so he instead inhaled 4 scrambled eggs, chocolate pudding, avocado, well cooked orzo cooked in chicken stock with cheese and various other soft nibbles. We had to administer antibiotics and he pitched an epic meltdown because they burned his poor throat. He eventually cried himself into sleep on D's chest and we took him to bed.

All in all, we're on day 3 and things are going well. He has ups & downs and he's definitely still in pain. He's on Tylenol and we've been told days 4 & 5 are worse than the first. Hopefully not! I'm so glad the procedure is done and I'm really hoping we notice a difference in his health over the next few seasons. M is such a little trooper!

Tonsils & Adenoids... Oh My!

Big day for the little guy tomorrow. After countless battles with strep throat, M is finally having his tonsils & adenoids removed tomorrow morning. Poor little guy doesn't have a clue what's going on (and admittedly, we haven't been talking about it with him) so I know his biggest concern will be his missing water & breakfast tomorrow morning. Surgery is at 9:50am and we have to be there 2 hours before so we're hoping a swift 'get up & go' will be enough of a distraction. Here's hoping for a quick & successful snip and speedy recovery! Keeping a toddler still & quiet for a few days is going to be enough of a challenge.

Sangria! Ole!

We had a few friends over last night and made sangria. An old (but good) friend & I perfected our sangria recipe years ago and it's always a hit.

750ml Beaujolais

1 can Strongbow Cider

1/2 mickey of Brandy

2 small bottles of Orangina

Pint or two of Sprite

Mix in a large jug and add diced fruit (peach, orange, apple, etc.). Pour over ice & serve.

Maple Glazed Ribs

Haven't made these lately but I've had a few requests for my recipe. They've got a nice mild but sweet flavour that caramelizes nicely on the barbeque.

Side or back ribs (whatever your preference and averaged about 1/2-1 rack per person)

1 medium onion, sliced

2 celery ribs, with leaves, coarsely chopped

10 whole black peppercorns

Water, to cover

1 1/2 cups corn syrup

1/2 cup maple syrup (sometimes I add more depending on the taste once mixed)

1/4 cup apple cider vinegar

3 tbsp. chili sauce (I use sriracha)

1 small onion, finely chopped

1 tsp. Worcestershire sauce

3/4 tsp. dry mustard

1/2 tsp. salt

1/8 tsp. pepper

Place ribs, onion, celery and peppercorns in Dutch oven. Cover with water. Bring to a boil. Cover, reduce heat and simmer for 1 1/2 hours until ribs are tender. Remove ribs and pat dry with a paper towel.

Combine remaining 9 ingredients in a medium bowl. Pour over ribs (large dish or Ziploc), turn to coat and marinade overnight or for a minimum of 4 hours.

Heat the barbeque and grill until browned & caramelized!

White Screen of Death

My BlackBerry died last night and I am LOST. Seriously. Pathetic? No email, BBM, texts... just a glaring white screen that stares back at me. Of course, I haven't backed my phone up in ages so who knows what I'm going to lose when it is replaced. I feel so disconnected. Maybe that's a good thing for a Sunday?

Beet It!

Uh, yeah. Lame.

Beet Salad with Oregano, Pecans & Goat Cheese

4-6 beets (red, golden or a combination)

3 Tbsp. extra-virgin olive oil

3 Tbsp. balsamic vinegar

Kosher salt & freshly ground black pepper

4 oz. soft goat cheese, crumbled

2 Tbsp. chopped fresh oregano

1/4 cup chopped lightly toasted pecans

Wash & trim beets. Boil beets in a large saucepan until a paring knife enters them easily, 30-45 minutes, depending on size. Set aside until cool enough to handle but still warm.

Peel the beets (by rubbing the skin off) and cut into thick wedges or bite-sized cubes. Transfer the beets to a large serving bowl and drizzle with the olive oil and vinegar. Season with a generous pinch of salt & pepper. Sprinkle the goat cheese, oregano and pecans over & serve.

*You can cook, peel and cut the beets up to 6 hours ahead. Refrigerate, then return to room temperature before finishing.

I always add more goat cheese & pecans to this salad. Today, I'm making honey-butter pecans for a bit of a twist.

Fresh & Quick 2010, Fine Cooking, p. 27.

Pint-Sized Saboteur

I had plans for a long run this morning and even set the alarm for 6am. The alarm went off and I immediately thought I'd sleep for another 20 minutes before getting up to go. Less than 10 minutes later, a little voice was calling out through the monitor with a few random demands -- change my diaper, Cheerios with milk, go downstairs and the like. Alas, we're up and it's going to be a long & hot day with no run in site. Maybe tomorrow?

32E

Yes, that's my bra size sitting up there. Big & bold... both the title & the subject.

My chest & I have had a long love-hate relationship. It's actually more a tolerate-hate sort of thing but after many years & a breast reduction, I'm comfortable with my size. After many years of struggling with (worse) body image and clothing woes, I made the decision to have a breast reduction right before I turned 30. I went from a 36F to a full 34C and LOVED it. I walked taller, stood straighter, grew confidence and generally felt better about myself. I knew the implications and was okay with them. I knew I likely wouldn't be able to breastfeed (I didn't) and that if I had children, I'd run the risk of going up in size. Well, I did.

I recently went for my first bra fitting since the one I had shortly after having M. 32E. I was pretty down for a few days because I didn't realize that I'd gotten huge again but really, they just aren't that big. Are they?!?!

Anyway, the whole point of this post is about sports bras. I've ALWAYS worn Shock Absorber bras. They strap 'em in & down and they work. I've always been reluctant to try anything other than my faithful Shock Absorber bras until recently, when I decided to give Lululemon's Ta Ta Tamer II a try.

Love it.

Seriously, I love it. I wasn't so sure when I wore it at bootcamp for the first time. But then I tried it for a few more classes and I've now run in it twice. Love it. Tonight, I wore my old faithful to bootcamp and I hated it. I felt like I wasn't supported and old faithful just felt uncomfortable.

The bonus? Lululemon's bra is WAY cheaper than what I ever paid for my Shock Absorbers. At $58, I think I need to get this puppy in a few other colours. As for sizing, I'm comfortably wearing a 34D.

Just knowing I'm wearing a smaller size is a bit of a bonus! I know, I know... it's not about the number but let's be honest here, it's all about the size.

Bain Avenue

6km sandwiched between two days of good ol' bootcamp! Well, one of those days is yet to happen but it will.

I read an article last night about training for a half marathon in 8 weeks. I just need to commit to 3 10km runs during the week and a 15-18km run on the weekend. I'm committed to bootcamp twice a week until August and even then, I was planning on doing the next session. At some point I need to decide what I want to do because not only do I need a rest day physically, I can't shirk all responsibility at home. I don't want to run too late or when it is dark, especially if I'm doing greater distances.

Right now, my gut is telling me to do the half-marathon. Whenever I start out on a run, I feel like I run weird & stiff for at least the first 2km and tonight was no different. I started thinking that my legs just won't be able to do it but once I got into the run, I wanted to keep going and it (once again) made me realize that I'm better at long distances. The little runs are great for stretching and getting out there but I feel best when I'm doing 10km plus.

The run isn't until October 16th and I've got until the 10th of that same month to sign up. I think the best thing to do is consult with a new pair of running shoes and see what they think I should do.

Meal Plan for Week of July 11-15

Despite my state earlier today, I managed to pull it together enough to meal plan, prepare a grocery list and shop. $105 later, here is this week's meal plan:

Grilled chicken breasts with a roasted beet, oregano, pecan & goat cheese salad

Mexican casserole (meatless & made with quinoa)

Ham, brie & apple sandwiches

Roasted peppers stuffed with black beans & brown rice (meatless)

Grilled sausages with baked potatoes & veggies

I'm also planning on baking a batch of chocolate chip cookies & carrot spice muffins. Both recipes are from Quinoa 365 and use quinoa flour instead of all purpose or whole wheat. D grimaced when I told him about the chocolate chip cookies but I'm pretty sure he won't be able to tell or turn them down.

It's a bit more meaty than usual but I was lacking the motivation to peruse more than the 3 recipe books I had at hand. Basically, pure laziness. As usual, if any of the recipes are winners, I'll share 'em here.

My Head Hurts.

I'm hungover and a I want a Big Mac, damn it. Not going to happen but I'm just putting it out there.

Went out last evening for drinks with 3 girlfriends. Why didn't we take the hint when the first bar called last call at a respectable 12am? Why did we (I) suggest going to another bar?

Anyway, great night out with the girls. The headache is worth it.

8.2km!

Yes, the .2 counts!

Happy Canada Day!

Holy hot & humid out there! Perfect day for a 6km run to get things going. D took M out for brunch with his dad so I got to go for a morning run (a rarity for me) and now have the rest of the day free to hang with my little guy while D is at a stag. Yay!

Huh? Quinoa AND Pizza?!

In my quest to add more things like barley, wheatberries & quinoa into our diet, I picked up a copy of Quinoa 365, a cookbook devoted to this versatile superfood. Seeing as I haven't grocery shopped since returning from NYC, I needed a quick dinner using ingredients on hand. Pizza is about as quick & easy as it comes!

Outrageously Quick and Easy Pizza Crust

1 1/3 cups water

2/3 cup white quinoa

1 1/2 cups warm water

2 tbsp. white or cane sugar

3 tbsp. vegetable or olive oil

1/2 tsp. salt

1 tbsp. quick-rise yeast

1 large egg, beaten

3 1/2 - 4 cups all-purpose flour

*I used 2 cups of whole wheat flour and about 1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour.

Combine the 1 1/3 cups water & quinoa in a medium saucepan and bring to a boil. Cover, reduce to a simmer and cook for 10 minutes. Turn the heat off and leave the covered saucepan on the burner for another 20 minutes. Fluff with a fork and allow to cool.

Mix the 1 1/2 cups warm water and sugar in a large bowl. Stir in the oil, salt and yeast. Mix in the egg and cooked quinoa. Blend in the flour, starting with 3 1/2 cups. Work in another 1/4 cup of flour. Grab the dough with a clean, dry hand to test stickiness. (If the dough sticks to your hand but pulls off you have enough flour in the dough. If the dough remains stuck to your hand, add more flour.) Continue adding small amounts of flour, doing the "sticky test" after each addition (you should not require more than 4 cups of flour in total). Freeze unused portions of the dough in resealable freezer bags for up to 3 months.

Slide the dough in half for 2 large crusts or roll itinto a log and cut it into 3 pieces for medium crusts. Form the pieces of dough into balls. Place the dough in a bowl that has been lightly sprayed with cooking oil or greased and cover with a clean kitchen towel. Place in a warm area to sit for about 15 minutes.

Preheat the oven to 425. Lightly grease the pizza pan(s) and press the dough evenly into each pan. Dress with your favourite sauce & toppings and bake on the centre oven rack for 25-30 minutes (time may vary with different pizza pans and amount of toppings). Remove the pizza from the oven when the cheese in the centre is bubbling and the bottom of the crust is golden brown. refrigerate leftovers for up to 3 days.

To prepare leftover frozen dough, thaw overnight in the refrigerator. Place the dough in a bowl that has been lightly sprayed with cooking oil or grease, cover it with a dishcloth and allow the dough to rise as above.

I personally couldn't tell there was quinoa in the crust though D said he could. The crust crisped nicely but still had a great chew factor. This will definitely become my go-to crust because it's much healthier & filling with all the extra protein thanks to the quinoa. This will make an easy meatless option for us in our quest to eat less meat.

*Outrageously Quick and Easy Pizza Crust, Quinoa 365, p. 120.

Eating the Big Apple

D & I just got back from a 5-day getaway to NYC where we strolled aimlessly, shopped furiously and ate heartily. We planned ahead (well, the 4 hour flight delay helped us to actually book reservations) and lucked out with reservations at some great restaurants. Seeing as I'm a food obsessed fatty, here are some of the great places we ate along our travels:

Bar Americain

Everyone knows Chef Bobby Flay, right? The grilled pizza with double smoked bacon, caramelized onions and toasted garlic was AMAZING.

Gemma at The Bowery

The Bowery Hotel is a hip little spot in the Lower East Side. We went to Gemma with friends and the food was delicious. I actually over-indulged to the point that I had to immediately go back to the hotel, curl up in a ball and hope to not give birth to my food baby. I couldn't resist stuffed zucchini flowers, strozzapreti with spicy Italian sausage ragu or numerous bites of tiramisu & vanilla panna cotta.

The Standard Grill

We made brunch reservations at the urging of my friend and it was worth it. Simple but delicious. To boot, the Meatpacking District is a fantastic place to wander & drop some coin.

Sparks

This is your typical old school steak house with a bit of a twist. In 1985, the boss of the Gambino crime family was gunned down as he walked into the restaurant with his bodyguard. D & I were certain it was the MASSIVE 14oz filet mignon that must've killed him and the hit was just an urban myth.

Vinegar Hill House

On Sunday, we walked across the Brooklyn Bridge and wandered around Dumbo & Vinegar Hill before stumbling across this cute little place. Admittedly, not too many things on the brunch menu jumped out at me initially (as I don't eat eggs) but the Indiana Casserole was an indulgent dish of hot dog, elbow macaroni, peas & sharp cheddar.

DBGB Kitchen & Bar

Loved this place. LOVED. Good wine, delicious food and a cool breeze on a hot patio. Perfection. The in-house made sausages were amazing. I had the Espagnole & Vermont as part of the sausage duo and D had the piggie burger.

Balthazar

Traditional bistro fare with a renowned bakery. Worth checking out for the great location but in terms of breakfast, I wouldn't say we were floored. The brioche French toast was fresh & tasty and D seemed to enjoy his eggs something-or-other.

There you go! Lots of restaurants crammed in to a short few days. This was the first time I've been in NYC where we've actually planned ahead and made reservations. I always ask myself when leaving a new restaurant if I'd go again and to all of the above, I would. The only reason we won't is because there are far too many amazing restaurants in NYC to ever return to the same ones.

The Jar - Part II

Remember the savings jar? You can read about it here. When D gifted me with the trip to NYC back in February, I immediately pulled out a big jar and got to saving. This time, we amended the rules a little and decided loonies & twoonies were acceptable but the goal was to save paper. We've been tossing in spare cash here & there and in just 4 months, we saved $1107 without feeling a pinch. Bring on NYC!

Booyah!

11km run this evening! As usual, I was running along, listening to my iPod and psyching myself up to train for a half-marathon in the fall. Dare I do it?

Chocolate Chip Cookies

There is a reason I long stopped baking cookies. I cannot resist raw cookie dough. Alas, I got out the butter & sugar and baked a batch of good ol' chocolate chip cookies today. I would likely have had another dozen but I managed to eat enough dough to make myself feel ill.

Baking: 1

Jenn: 0

It's been almost a week since my last run and despite adding in a few mini cheats, I'm still hovering around 130lbs. I'd like to get out for a good run tonight so we'll see.

Lemony Orzo with Tuna & Artichoke Hearts

I stumbled upon this recipe when flipping through an old(er) Fine Cooking collection last weekend. Quick, from the pantry & fresh? Yes, please! It took no time to pull together and was very fresh & delicious.

Lemony Orzo with Tuna & Artichoke Hearts

Kosher Salt

1 1/2 cups dried orzo

1 tbsp extra-virgin olive oil

1 small yellow onion, finely chopped

Freshly ground black pepper

1/3 cup dry vermouth or white wine

1 14-oz can artichoke heart, drained and quartered

1/2 cup oil-packed sun-dried tomatoes, drained and thinly sliced

1 5-oz can water packed solid white tuna, drained

3 tbsp creme fraiche or sour cream

3 tbsp fresh lemon juice

3 tbsp coarsely chopped fresh basil

Bring a large pot of well-salted water to a boil. Add the orzo and cook according to package directions until al dente. Drain well.

Meanwhile, heat the oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add the onion 1/2 tsp salt and 1/8 tsp pepper and cook, stirring often, until deep golden brown, 7-8 minutes. Take the skillet off the heat and add the vermouth or wine. Return the skillet to the heat and stir well, scraping up any browned bits from the bottom. Add the artichoke hearts and sun-dried tomatoes and cook just until tender and heated through, another 2-3 minutes. Off the heat, gently stir in the tuna.

Transfer the hot orzo to a large bowl and toss with the creme fraiche and lemon juice. Add the artichoke mixture, 2 tbsp of the basil and salt & pepper to taste. Toss gently to combine. Spoon into bowls, garnish with the remaining 1 tbsp basil & serve.

*Fine Cooking, Fresh & Quick 2010.

Moroccan Toasted Couscous with Spiced Honey Citrus Dressing

I played around with a recipe sent to me by a friend and came up with this delicious variation.

Moroccan Toasted Couscous with Spiced Honey Citrus Dressing

Dressing:

1/2 tsp cumin

1/4 tsp cardamom

1/4 tsp cinnamon

1/4 cup fresh lemon juice

1/4 cup fresh orange juice

1 tbsp honey

1/4 cup olive oil

Whisk together & set aside.

Salad:

1 1/2 cups Israeli couscous

1 1/2 cups boiling water

1/4 tsp turmeric

1 red pepper, diced

10 dried apricots, diced

1/2 cup raisins

1 cup pistachios, toasted

1 1/2 tbsp grated orange zest

Handful of chopped fresh Italian parsley (leaves only)

Preheat the oven to 375 and toast the couscous on a cookie sheet for 10 minutes, shaking halfway. Cool and place in a bowl. Combine the turmeric with boiling water and pour over the couscous and let stand for 10-15 minutes. Set aside to cool. Fluff the couscous and combine with the rest of the salad ingredients. Add dressing and add S&P, if you wish.

This makes a perfect side to any sort of grilled meat but is equally good on its own. Enjoy!

Holding Steady...

130lbs.

Meh. Still pleased I dropped the initial 5lbs but I'd love to shed a few more. I'm still eating a cleanse friendly diet and really haven't cheated at all. I could probably work on portion control (as usual) but at least I know I'm eating fresh & healthy.

8.3km run on Monday night followed by an hour of bootcamp last night. The day is early yet but my legs are still working. It's either going to hit me HARD when I first attempt to stand after sitting at a desk all morning or it means I have to work harder tomorrow night.

Boot Camp

I finally gave in and signed up for one of those boot camps that take place in parks across the city. Um, yeah. It was HARD and within 20 minutes, I was panting and secretly looking for a way out. Pushed through and lasted the entire hour (not without a few pauses to make sure my legs were still attached to my body) and am so glad I committed to this program. I dragged my friend with me so at least I/we have motivation to continue. We have 4 weeks of this... twice a week... no excuses. Right?!

Also, buttery popcorn for dinner. It was on the cleanse so I maintain that it's healthy & justified!

Black Bean, Chickpea & Avocado Salad

Um, amazing?! This salad recipe is a keeper. Both D and I couldn't stop eating it despite having very full bellies! It takes next to no time to prepare and is incredibly fresh & flavourful.

Black Bean, Chickpea & Avocado Salad

1 can black beans, drained and rinsed

1 can chickpeas, drained and rinsed

2 green onions, thinly sliced

2 plum or vine-ripened tomatoes, chopped

1 sweet yellow or red pepper, diced

1 avocado, peeled, pitted and diced

1/4 cup chopped fresh coriander

*The recipe doesn't call for it but I added about 1/2 cup of corn kernels. Definitely a great addition!

Dressing:

1 tsp grated lime rind

1/4 cup fresh lime juice

1/4 cup vegetable or olive oil

1 jalapeno pepper, seeded and minced

1 small clove garlic, minced

1/4 tsp EACH salt & pepper

In large bowl, toss together black beans, chickpeas, onions, tomatoes, yellow or red pepper, avocado and coriander.

Whisk together lime rind and juice, oil, jalapeno, garlic, salt and pepper. Pour over bean mixture; toss to coat.

*If making the salad ahead of time, add avocado just before serving.

Black Bean, Chickpea & Avocado Salad. Canadian Living. The Vegetarian Collection. 2010. p. 23

Curried Lentil, Wild Rice and Orzo Salad

In my post-cleanse euphoric state, I decided to pull out some old & forgotten cookbooks in the hopes of re-energizing our weekly meal plan. I went waaay back to a cookbook my mum purchased (and I clearly "borrowed" permanently) in the late 90s. My dad was fairly young (early 40s) when he had a heart attack in 1990. This event rocked our family & our diet and gone were our traditional British dinners and replaced with healthy curries, stir fries & salads. After working with a dietician, my mum's cookbook collection was expanded to include those by the Heart & Stroke Foundation, Canadian Diabetes Association and the Canadian Medical Association.

This recipe is from Anne Lindsay's New Light Cooking and will definitely be added to our rotation. It makes a good sized portion and can be kept for up to 2 days.

Curried Lentil, Wild Rice and Orzo Salad

1/2 cup wild rice

2/3 cup green or brown lentils

1/2 cup orzo pasta

1/2 cup currants

1/4 cup chopped red onion

1/3 cup slivered almonds, toasted

Dressing:

1/4 cup white wine vinegar

2 tbsp water

1 tsp cumin

1 tsp Dijon mustard

1/2 tsp EACH granulated sugar, salt and ground coriander

1/4 tsp EACH turmeric, paprika, ground nutmeg and ground cardamom

Pinch EACH cinnamon, cloves and cayenne pepper

1/4 cup vegetable oil

In separate pots of boiling water, cook wild rice (35-40 minutes), lentils (25-30 minutes) and orzo (about 5 minutes) or until each is tender but not mushy. Drain well & transfer to a large bowl. Add currants and onion. Set aside.

In a small bowl, whisk together vinegar, water, cumin, mustard, sugar, salt, coriander, turmeric, paprika, nutmeg, cardamom, cinnamon, cloves and cayenne. Whisk in oil. Pour over rice mixture and toss gently. Let cool completely before covering & refrigerating for at least 4 hours.

Serve sprinkled with almonds.

*Raisins can be substituted for currants (this is what I used).

*Long grain converted rice can be substituted for orzo (cooked for about 20 minutes).

Lindsay, A. (1998). Curried Lentil, Wild Rice and Orzo Salad. Anne Lindsay's New Light Cooking. p. 50.

Cleanse: Day 12

And it's over... well, in some +/- 18 hours it will be over. Would I do it again? Absolutely. I've felt better than I have in a long time and I think this was a quick & relatively painless way to back back to healthy ways. I'm motivated to drink more water, eat better and in general, eat fresher.

I did the Wild Rose 12 Day Detox Cleanse. There are 4 different supplements you take while following a rather loose meal plan. The meal plan is comprised of 3 different categories of food, which are further broken down into encouraged, acceptable & to be avoided. It's easy to work with for grazing and incredibly easy to put actual meals together.

Laxaherb. Just warning you, one of the supplements is called Laxaherb. Interpret that as you see fit!

At the end of the 12 days, I lost 5.2lbs. I am down to 130lbs but more importantly, I feel awesome. The bloated feelings are gone and I feel less sluggish & tired. I'm sleeping better than I have in ages (which I still attribute to giving up caffeine) and I actually wake feeling rested & alert, a feeling typically hard to come by when the alarm goes off at 5:20am.

The cleanse is only supposed to be done once or twice a year. I will do it again in 6 months but I'm really hoping (and I feel quite motivated) to keep it up. I know there are some things I will need to add back into my diet but I will do so in moderation. I cannot live a life without cheese and I know it's not realistic to never eat carbs again. But, salad has appeared at every meal lately and that is a good thing. We're flying through apples each week and in general, just eating better.

Did I mention I'm down to 130lbs?!

Cleanse: Day 11

In 43 short minutes, I will officially be on day 12 and my last day of the cleanse. I will also be sleeping so really, it's not worth noting.

BUT... I will say that today was by far the hardest day yet. I had flashbacks to some nasty side effects from day 1 as well as insane cravings. I'm pretty sure I drooled all over my co-worker's delicious looking lunch from Chipotle and it took all my power to avoid eating any of the 3 dozen muffins I baked tonight. I managed to stay strong and fought through the urges! Sadly, a big glass of water doesn't really satiate cravings.

Last night was the first time in weeks that I ventured into a grocery store. We've made an effort the last few weekends to hit the St. Lawrence Market on a Saturday morning to pick up our meat, fruit & veggies for the week. I've got enough pantry stock going that I haven't needed to shop at a grocery store. However, I had to go last night to pick up a number of items needed for my office breakfast tomorrow and I realized just how much I am impacted by grocery store marketing & promotions. It's like any possible craving I may have ever had in the past immediately surfaces and I have insane 'have to have NOW' feelings. I walked down the snack aisle and stared longingly at chips, licorice & sours. I had to force myself to keep going. Things I never buy like crackers suddenly looked damn tasty. I'm lucky that I didn't buy anything I didn't need but speaking from experience, the ONLY reason is because I'm on the cleanse. As I left the store, I realized how much more I enjoy shopping at the Market. Besides, I love spending those mornings with D & M wandering around the Market.

Big day tomorrow! Final weigh-in and then it's time to come up with a plan to stick with it.

Cleanse: Day 9

So exhausted. First day back after 3 lazy days off was too much for my system! Heading to bed but checking in for a quick update.

Despite being so close to talking myself out of it, I talked myself into a quick 5km run. Totally worth it and my legs have that lovely & good sleepy feeling now. So, 10km for the week already!

Still going strong on the cleanse. I ate a huge dinner of field green salad with avocado in a simple dressing of olive oil, lemon, salt & pepper with a chicken breast stuffed with basil, spinach & roasted red peppers. Seriously, who knew you could eat so well on a cleanse?

And It's Over...

The 3-day weekend is over and it's back to reality tomorrow. Actually, back to reality tonight because minimal workday morning craziness is all down to evening preparation. This is the first May long weekend in years that we've spent at home but it was worth it.

First, I survived days 6, 7 & 8 on the cleanse. I made a quinoa salad this afternoon and the feta called to me but I successfully fought the urge. I did a teeny tiny cheat on Saturday when my salad at the restaurant came with a delicious maple-vidalia vinaigrette and I didn't balk but rather inhaled. I also ate my weight in roasted unsalted almonds but those are allowed! I can safely say that I am loving this cleanse now. I feel amazing and it's so worth it. I'm used to the little side effects (more on that as well as the name when it's over) and the day-to-day is simple.

Second, I ran! The lousy weather & the cleanse (due to said side effect) meant I've been sitting idle for about 10 days but I forced myself out this afternoon for a 5km loop. Dropping a lb here or there is great but at the end of the day, I actually have to do something to lose the pudge. And really, I can hardly use the "I just had a baby" excuse anymore when my 2+ year old is standing beside me.

Third, I tackled my 'to do' list and got a lot accomplished:

• Trip to the St. Lawrence Market to pick up meat, fruit & veggies for the week. Done!
• Weed front garden. Done!
• Sweep & tidy the front porch. Done!
• Finish tidying the backyard & gardens and get the patio furniture set up. Done!
• Make a trip to Value Village to drop off clothes & household items no longer needed. Done!
• Finalize the pattern of the photos of M in our upstairs hallway. Done!
• Continue working on purging/tidying the spare bedroom (read: dumping ground). It isn't complete but I made definite progress. Deadline is our trip to NYC in late June.
• Hang the Gary Taxali print ANYWHERE just to get it off our bedroom floor. Didn't happen.
• Bake a batch of muffins and do a bit of advance preparation for next week. Done!
• Finalize my menu for Friday breakfast at work. Done!

All in all, it was a great & productive weekend. We spent so much time outdoors with lots of trips to the park & playing out in the backyard. We visited with the grandparents and had D's dad over for dinner last night. We wandered the nursery today and picked up a new hydrangea plant (to replace sad & dead rhododendron lost by my black thumb) and a few other garden essentials. Tomorrow's dinner is already prepared and lunches are packed.

Life is good.

Orzo with Parmesan & Basil

This is definitely one of my favourite recipes for entertaining. It's quick, easy & delicious and often requested by D. We usually serve it along side steak but it's great with chicken or fish as well.

Orzo with Parmesan & Basil

3 tbsp. butter

1 1/2 cups orzo

3 cups chicken broth

1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese

6 tbsp. chopped fresh basil

Salt & pepper to taste

Melt butter in a frying pan over medium-high heat. Add orzo and saute for 2-3 minutes until slightly browned. Add broth and bring to a boil. Reduce heat, cover and simmer until orzo is tender and liquid is absorbed, about 20 minutes. Mix in parmesan & basil. Season with salt & pepper. Transfer to a shallow dish & serve.

Serves 6.

*Orzo with Parmesan & Basil, The Rest of the Best and More, The Best of Bridge, 2004.

Spice Muffins

I woke at 6:30am and threw in a batch of these muffins before showering. D & M really enjoyed them and D's only request was to add chocolate chips next time. If it means he'll eat them, no problem! I can't vouch for them as I didn't try them but they smelled delicious and were simple & quick to make.

Spice Muffins

1 1/4 cup flour (I used 3/4 white & 3/4 whole wheat this time)

2 tsp baking powder

2 tsp ground cinnamon

1/4 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp salt

1 1/2 cups All-Bran Buds cereal

1 1/4 cups boiling water

1/2 cup firmly packed brown sugar

3/4 cup milk

1/4 cup vegetable oil

1 egg

1/2 cup regular or golden raisins

Stir together flour, baking powder, cinnamon, baking soda & salt and set aside.

In a large bowl, stir together cereal & boiling water. Let sit for 2 minutes until water is absorbed.

Mix sugar into softened cereal until well combined. Stir in milk & vegetable oil and add egg & raisins. Beat well. Add flour and stir until just combined. Spoon batter evenly into greased muffin cups.

Bake at 400F for about 20 minutes or until tops of muffins are light golden brown and spring back when touched. Let muffins cool 5-7 minutes before turning out onto a wire rack to cool completely.

Long Weekend Goals

3 days off and a whole bunch of things I'd like to accomplish around the house. We're staying local this weekend and expecting some not-so-great weather for Sunday & Monday so hopefully that works as an incentive to follow through.

• Trip to the St. Lawrence Market to pick up meat, fruit & veggies for the week.
• Weed front garden.
• Sweep & tidy the front porch.
• Finish tidying the backyard & gardens and get the patio furniture set up.
• Make a trip to Value Village to drop off clothes & household items no longer needed.
• Finalize the pattern of the photos of M in our upstairs hallway.
• Continue working on purging/tidying the spare bedroom (read: dumping ground).
• Hang the Gary Taxali print ANYWHERE just to get it off our bedroom floor.
• Bake a batch of muffins and do a bit of advance preparation for next week.
• Finalize my menu for Friday breakfast at work.

The sun is shining and it's a gorgeous day out there so we'll be making the most of it as well. I think a day outside, trips to the park and maybe a visit to Ed's Real Scoop will be in order. I'll just stare & drool while the boys enjoy ice cream!

Cleanse: Day 5

I really wish I hadn't discovered that popcorn AND butter are both allowed on this cleanse. Big mistake. Regardless, I stuck to it and am feeling great. My skin is breaking out so I'm wondering if that's all the icky stuff making it's way to the surface.

Long weekend! Thank God. Lots of things I want to accomplish this weekend so I'm hoping to post a list to stay accountable... tomorrow.

We Have a Combiner on Our Hands!

M had a follow up assessment at the speech therapy clinic this morning and they were so pleased!

At our SLPs urging, we've skipped the current block of therapy that is one-on-one (well, two) between therapist & child/parent for a specialized course built by The Hanen Centre for parents only. It's based on a well known book called It Takes Two to Talk and the course basically breaks it down in detail and provides parents with the insight & skills to work with their toddler. On the one hand, it's been informative and very comforting to know there are lots of other slow-to-speak kids out there. On the other hand, it's pretty much been a repeat of what we learned (just without knowing or labeling it) during our one-on-one sessions.

Who cares!? It's working! M is a combiner!

There are four basic stages of early communication & language:

• Discovers - Reactionary but do not communicate with purpose.
• Communicators - Nonverbal in nature.
• First Word Users - Single word use.
• Combiners - Combine 2-3 words into sentences.

M is actually past the combiner stage because he will use 4-5 words in a sentence. The SLP was happy to note that he uses I and I'm and only uses "me" to refer to himself the odd time. She noticed how he was so much more engaged during play and looked for opportunities to chat, take turns and in general, communicate. Yay!

A lot of people have asked if I felt we started this process too early with M. I'm sure they wonder if we jumped the gun and went through all of this when it may not have been necessary. Truth be told, we'll never really know but I am so glad we listened to our doctor at his 1 year appointment when she said to get him on the waiting list. She saw that he wasn't talking or babbling at all and we were beginning to catch on to it, too. It was the one milestone he consistently wasn't hitting. We were lucky to start seeing an SLP when M was 18 months and at that time, he was a communicator. He's made a tonne of progress over the last 6 months and I'm positive it's because of all the great tips & tricks we received.

I'm so proud of my little guy! His vocabulary is growing and he wants to repeat. He actually wants to look at and talk to us! He's like this tiny little person attempting to have an intelligent conversation. It's amazing! Go M go!

Cleanse: Day 4

I felt like a bag of hammers all day long but I think it was more emotional than physical. Meh. Nothing new happening. Not sure if that's good or bad?

Also, you have to love a cleanse that allows you to eat popcorn with butter!

I would gnaw my left arm off if it meant I could have a burrito right now. Mmm... guacamole & cheese.

PS - Such a fitting "me" post for my 200th.

Cleanse: Day 3

I have a sore throat. According to my source (who just completed this cleanse), it's totally normal. By normal, it happened to her. Not too sure what exactly that or it means but I'm hoping it'll be gone tomorrow.

Also, not sure if it's in my head but I really do feel like I've got a bit more energy. I'm less bloated, too. Good signs? I'm definitely staying well hydrated and I'm hoping my skin will clear up a bit. I think the last few months of indulgence have taken their toll.

The weather has been miserable lately. We're on day 7 of rain and I think we've got another 2 days before we see a bit of sun. Of course, we'll get one sunny day and we're back to rain. That said, I haven't been for a true run since last Wednesday. I'm okay with it because I wanted to get into my groove with this cleanse as there are some less than wonderful side effects but I'm hoping to get out on Saturday.

Cleanse: Day 2

Again, not horrible. I had to suffer through mad temptations for pastries at meeting first thing but I resisted their call. I perhaps drooled just a little when serving a delicious homemade pasta back to the boys tonight but again, I resisted.

I should add that I'm by no means starving myself. I filled my belly with lots of fresh fruit & veggies throughout the day. Lunch was true oatmeal with a bit of rice milk and dinner was fried brown rice (just a bit of olive oil and no soy sauce) with chicken, celery & orange pepper.

The kicker? Herbal supplements. I'll save those details for later.

It'll be worth it, right?

Cleanse: Day 1

It wasn't horrible. I was expecting a long, drawn out & painful day but it really wasn't. I ate well and am going to bed comfortably full. There was maybe one or two fleeting moments of regret but I will admit that it's nice knowing that every.single.thing that went into my mouth today was pure & good.

One Week Later...

I'm holding steady at 135.2lbs. Ugh. I really don't get it BUT I'll push on and give it time (and diet & exercise). My goal is 130lbs by June 23rd, which is when we leave for NYC.

Desperate times call for desperate measures...

I'm starting a 12-day detox today in the hopes of feeling better. Since cutting out caffeine last week, I think I'm actually beginning to feel the benefits. I'm no longer dragging throughout the day, sleeping better at night and actually waking feeling refreshed. This detox is an extension of that and involves lots of fresh foods (no limits) and should give me freedom while doing something good for myself.

Updates to follow! I've heard the first few days are really difficult but I'm hoping it's worth it.

Rosie

I held a newborn baby this morning. I held her while she slept, fed her when she woke, burped her and stared at her. When it was time to go, I passed sweet little Rosie back to her mama. And know what? I was okay with it.

I love babies. I mean, who doesn't? New smell, tiny features, quiet cooing noises. I'd wondered if holding Rosie would stir up anything inside me. You know, that "must have another" feeling. It didn't. I loved every second of it and would do it again in a heartbeat but for now, I am okay with holding other people's babies.

Sometimes I think D & I are only meant to have M. I know that I feel like our family is complete and there isn't a missing little someone. I really don't want M to be an only child and often have moments when I *think* I know he needs a sibling. Firstly, D is an only child so no cousins on that side of the family. Secondly, my brother & his wife are childless so no cousins there. At some point, everything will stop at him. I hate to think of him being alone with no family years down the road. It makes me sad to think of him dealing with life after us all by himself. Yes, I can be melodramatic at times.

One of the best things I ever did after having M was to return to work. I love M with all my heart but as I have said before, I am a better parent because I am a working parent. It is what works for me. I also know that returning to work has stirred up those waiting feelings in me because I am so lucky to love what I do, who I work with and where my career is going.

I also know that I'm getting older and at some point, we'll have to make a decision on whether or not we want to try to expand. Right now, I am admittedly at that age where I can sit for another few years. I'm not in my twenties and I'm still a ways off from 40 but I'm there.

For now, I will savour the fun days with my toddler and nights filled with sleep. I'll enjoy my friend's babies and love reliving milestones through them. I will listen, share & talk and know that I am lucky to have my one and if that's all we are blessed with, it's okay. I am okay with it.

7.5km!

Add another 7.5km to this week's running total and I'm up to 18.5km already. I won't be running tomorrow night but definitely on Friday. Ideally, I'd like to do a minimum 10km run one day each weekend and gradually increase the distance over time.

Yay!

Wordless Wednesday

This sweet little face greets me each morning. Love.